Silent Hill 4 Prequels suck
by Darkcomet
Summary: Chapter 16 The Goat Man Cometh. The final battle, what will happen? Read and find out!
1. Prequels suck

Chapter 1

Prequels suck

Disclaimer: I still have no claim to anything in Silent Hill...but it is great to be back!

It is a cool Autumn night as little Heather lay in her bed, she is only one year old. She is a rather tall child, as tall as a seven year old, she can walk, talk, run, and pretty much has everything a six year old has...but she is only one...yes it is possible. Being the daughter of two idiots James and Ashley she has two idiot genes in her body thus giving her incredible gifts those of intelligence and accelerated growth. Therefore being only one she is actually seven in mind and body. Also need to mention she was born on a leap day that might also play a factor.

The next day is her birthday she would be still be one but actually she would be 7.

James and Ashley were downstairs watching T.V. and contemplating on what they should do tomorrow for they were going to Six Flags, oblivious that tomorrow is actually Heathers 7th birthday...but hey it's James and Ashley how could they know.

Yep everything was peaceful sense Mario's attack was thwarted about 7 years ago...but that was about to change.

Outside a bumbling man in a brown Jacket blue jeans and short brown hair was very stealthily walking over to a window on the Sunderland house. When he reached the window he slid it open and looked inside it was there he saw baby Heather and he snatched he up from her bed and ran to his hot pink Jeep and drove away. It wasn't until morning the next day that James realized that Heather had been Kidnapped.

Silent Hill 2.5

Prequels Suck!

As the man drove his Jeep down a seemingly deserted road he contemplates his plan.

"This is the ex-presidents daughter I will hold her ransom for a large amount of money. Harry you are such a genius!" He said to himself when the girl woke up.

"Dad where are we?" She asked

"SWEET JESUS!" Harry screamed as he swerved the jeep a little.

"you aren't my daddy" She said making an observation.

"No I'm not...I am your uncle...Harry. Your dad told me to take you somewhere where nobody, not even him could find you" Harry said off the top of his thick head.

"That sounds like my dad" Heather said rolling her eyes.

"It does? I mean of course it does!" Harry said almost slipping up.

"Wait how come I have never seen you before?" She asked looking right through him.

"uhhh" He said sweating.

"I'm waiting" She said impatiently.

"I am your Dad's brother...yeah let's go with that" He said sweating even more.

"That still doesn't answer my question" She said with a suspecting tone.

"We had a fight back in college" He said finally forming a story.

"I didn't think my dad went to college" She said thinking.

"Did I say we...I meant me...your dad did not go to college" Harry said quickly sidestepping that.

"Oh O.K. then uncle Harry I'm going to rest wake me when we get to...where ever it is we are going" She said going back to sleep.

"Whew...the little shit is smart" He said under his breath.

A few hour later.

A heavy fog had descended upon the jeep and the girl was still asleep.

"So this is the path I have chosen me Harry Mason. I was going to be the greatest writer ever but that first book was such a flop...so now I need money so I am abducted this little snot over here I am going to be rich!" Harry said to himself. He looked over and there was a lady on a motorcycle. This did not alarm him, but the fact it was a cop did.

"O.K. just be cool, just be cool they don't know anything" He said to himself as she passed him.

"Whew when ever this is over I am going to need some stress management.

A few more uneventful hours passed.

"What is that?" Harry said looking at a crashed motorcycle.

"Well better them than me" Harry said chuckling looking back, not forward. He didn't even notice the lady about to get hit by his jeep. He turned and saw at the last second, he swerved but flipped his Jeep, all went black.

About an hour later.

"Ohh, my head" Harry said grabbing his head as it throbbed with pain.

"Are you O.K.?...Hello?" He said looking around for the little girl

He saw footprints in the snow on the road.

"So she saw through me...she is going to tell the cops I need to catch her!" He said feeling an urgency and ran down the rest of the highway until he reached a town; the billboard read Silent Hill.

"HA! Silent HILL! I don't even see a hill!" He said mocking the town

He walked down the road for a little while until he saw in the distance what looked to be the little girl.

"HA! Haven't made it to the cops yet huh. Well I got you now!" He yelled as he ran after her...or course she ran away.

"Oh no you don't" he yelled as he chased her down an alley.

"lost her...DAMN IT!" he screamed and looked down and still saw foot prints.

"Gotcha bitch" he said as he followed the foot prints down an even darker and narrower alley.

"Wow she even knocked over a handicapped person, and from the looks of it knocked them up on a building...oh well better them than me" He said as he continued down the alley.

He walked until he came to a dead end with a body strung up on the fence.

"Nasty...I must have walked up on the mafia's turf...SORRY!" He yelled and put a twenty dollar bill on the dead body to bribe the mob.

When he tried to go back the way he came he saw the way was closed.

"What in the hell?" He said looking around for another way out when a siren started blowing.

"OH SHIT...TORNADO!" He screamed thinking it was a tornado siren...that is when the weird mutant babies showed up.

"uhhh...why are there wimpy babies walking around me?" Harry wondered.

They suddenly pulled out knives

"Oh shit take this baby!" Harry screamed as punched one of the weird babies/

"HEY! We were just trying to scare you but now...we are going to kill you." The baby he punched said.

"Oh...in that case...See ya" he said as he tried to climb the fence next to him but was pulled down by the babies.

"No...no...NO!" He screamed before blacking out.

END OF CHAPTER

This was last second let me tell you. I was home sick today so I decided to see if I could write the first chapter to this and it was actually easy. Let me know what you think of it. Also let me know what other characters from the other stories you would like to see in here and I will try to find a way to make them show up. Don't for get to read my other story Shenlong's Tale either it is funny too. Please Review!


	2. Back to School

Chapter 2

Back to school

Disclaimer: I don't own Silent Hill yah heard.

"No no NO AHH!" Harry screamed as he sat up in the middle of a diner. He saw a blonde girl in tight leather pants staring at him.

"ummm, are you O.K.?" She asked.

Harry seeing this chance to pick up a girl (rare case for him) sprung into action.

"Say baby I know this place down in the Bahamas where you and I could...you know...get aquainted, but first I have to find this girl so I can collect a ransom" Harry said raising his eyebrows.

The woman appaled by this said "No way in hell sir! And what was that you said about ransom? For I am the police!" She gave him a suspicious look.

"uhh...I mean. Woe is me, I have lost my daughter...Heather I think...I mean Oh Heather where have you gone. First your mother now you...WHY!!" He faked crying.

"There there it's O.K. I'll help you find her. My name is Cybil" She said in a sympathetic tone.

"Thank you, where would she have gone?" Harry asked.

"I don't know she is YOUR daughter after all." She said looking strangely at him.

Sensing this going south "Hey...how about we split up, I cover this portion of the town...and you go and venture in the places she couldn't be." Harry said .

"Why would she be there?" Cybil asked confused.

"Well, uh, hmm, you know...chick things." Harry said.

"Chick things?" Cybil asked.

"Yeah! You know...shopping I mean she is seven, isn't that near the time of moving out on your own?" Harry said running out of ideas.

"Yeah...sure...I'll go look in those areas" Cybil said heading for the door.

Harry felt like a weight just dropped off of him.

"Wait a second!" Cybil said suddenly.

Weight came back on Harry "Yes" he said started.

"If you are going to go out in the streets again you might want to take this" Cybil said handing him a gun.

"Oh..hel...I mean thank you for your concern we will do what it takes to get her back" Harry said as she turned to leave.

Once she had left "Then I'll do what it takes to get you in the sack...Yeah!" Harry said accidentally discharging his gun into the air.

"What! What happened!" Cybil came back in with her gun ready.

"Misfire...sorry" Harry said dropping the gun and it shooting again almost hitting Cybil.

"Be careful with that thing. Make sure you know what you are shooting before you shoot it...especially when I'm around" Cybil said sighing then leaving.

"Right officer" Harry yelled.

"I need to find that girl before him...he is way too stupid to have a seven year old girl." Cybil said under her breath walking away.

"I bet she is a beast in the bed...but to pressing issues, if she finds the girl before me I may be in some trouble, so I need to remedy this quick. First step find Girl, second make sure she doesn't talk, third leave town and play good cop bad cop with Ms. Cybil." Harry said to himself. He then heard radio static "What is the deal with this thing?" Harry said picking it up and putting it in his pocket.

Suddenly something crashed through the window and Harry shot the gun again.

"Damn! Stuff has got to stop getting weird!" Harry said out loud frustrated.

Harry inspected what looked to be a cross between a dinosaur and a bird, it was laying motionless on a nearby table.

"Poor little thing killed its self, poor little animal." Harry said turning to leave.

SCREEEECH

"what the..." Harry said as he was struck in the face by said dead bird.

"Why YOU!" Harry screamed as he discharged his gun into the bird thing skull.

"That will show you!" He said as he gradually tapped it with his foot and it exploded.

"Yeah...I've been working out." Harry said.

He walked out side the diner only to see something that would frighten even the bravest person on earth...Big Bird.

"Hey have you seen my little brother?" Big Bird asked.

"uhhh, kind of like a cross between a dinosaur and a bird?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, sounds like him, he likes to play dead and attack people who come near him...he is a sick freak." Big Bird said.

"um...No can't say I have...he most certainly isn't blown to pieces in that diner...if that is what you are implying." Harry said

"Oh good that is the thing I was afraid of...he has a condition to where no matter how many times he is beaten, shot, stabbed, raped, and or otherwise he will live. Unless he is kicked just slightly." Big Bird said.

"That is stupid!" Harry said.

"I know...so I'll let you go." Big Bird said.

"Allright...see you around." Harry said as he took off down the road.

"Nice guy." Big Bird said as he walked inside the diner.

"BROTHER NO! I SHALL AVENGE YOU!" Big Bird said seeing the carnage.

"Oh crap oh crap oh crap" Harry said running away and diving into a house, he had no idea where he was.

"I WILL FIND YOU! I WILL PECK YOUR EYES OUT AS THOUGHT THEY WERE BIRD FEED!" He heard Big Bird outside yelling.

"Need to lay low...or avoid very large birds." Harry said.

He stayed hidden for a little while and after he felt things were safe he left the house but tried to stay out of the roads.

"Need to stay out of sight" Harry said looking around like some paranoid maniac.

Darkcomet: HOLY CRAP BIG BIRD!

"WHERE!" Harry screamed.

Darkcomet: just messin' with you ha ha

"Jerk...now where could that brat be? Maybe I should try that alley again." Harry said as he went to said alley.

He backtracked to the alley and found the place he went in before blocked but paper strewn all about on the ground.

"hmm she took time to draw a school...maybe she's there!" Harry said walking out of the alley where he saw a map blowing in the wind, he picked it up.

"Lucky me, I guess I left it in the jeep, I guess those winds are good today." He said walking towards the school.

On the other side of Silent hill.

"hmm according to the tomes I read those who seek power should seek out a little girl, and perform a ritual in order to recieve unrivaled power by mortal standards." Said a floating man in a brown cloak.

"I remember this all those years ago and now I have found this town...so let us see if this prophecy holds true." He said floating into on of the many houses.

He looked around in the house for awhile. When he came upon a locked door with three locks.

"Foolish door, do you know who you impede." The man said as he blew the door off of its hinges.

"Foolish people think you can use petty locks to stop me... the almighty BASS!" Bass screamed

Darkcomet: dah dun dun

"dude you just ruined my cool new entrance...I mean...FOOLISH MORTAL YOU WILL NOW FEEL MY RAGE!" Bass said raising his arm.

Darkcomet: shut up and go to the school.

"Yes sir, right away sir!" Bass said quickly and floated off.

Darkcomet: When push comes to shove you gotta show em' who's boss.

Back to Harry on the outside of the house.

"There is no way to the school, I just run into a dead end every time." Harry said almost sounding like he was going to give up. He then walked up to a random porch and then through the front door.

"Whoa! Whoever was in here before really messed the place up...I mean they blew the back door off of the house in what I feel is a way to cut corners." Harry said.

Darkcomet: Shut up and go through.

"pfft you aint my dad" Harry said walking out the door.

Darkcomet: Don't be so sure...but for real I'm not.

Harry walked along when suddenly a dog took him to the ground

"Please don't hurt me" Harry said covering his face.

The dog began to lick him.

"Hey stop...stop I say, heh heh it tickles!." Harry said finally getting the dog off.

It was a furless scary, ugly, devil dog.

"AWW Aren't you cute!" Harry said

The dog panted happily

"I shall call you Tripod, the four legged dog!" Harry said

The dog barked happily then took off running.

"Tripod come back!" Harry chased him and eventually came to the school.

"I have forgotten my goal...I need to get in there and do my business...BAM!" Harry said as he thrust his hips forward and walked inside the school.

END OF CHAPTER

Hey everybody it has been awhile hasn't is? Well just to let you know I have only about 17 days until summer vacation so expect some updates soon...I will hopefully update in between then but who knows look how long it took me to get this up. But hey maybe everyone here could do me a favor and read my other story titled "Shenlong's Tale" I would very much appreciate some feedback on how that is going just get there through my profile. Also if you have one of those ever burning questions please don't even hesitate to ask one of the characters, they will be answered in the next chapter. Until next time, Adios!


	3. After School Detention

Chapter 3

After School Detention

Disclaimer: I still own nothing in this story, nor will I ever.

Harry walked inside the school which was foggy as well.

"What is the deal man? I mean look at this, fog is everywhere...why!" Harry vented his anger at the wall.

He continued to walk through the hall and he came upon a door that just wouldn't open...big surprise. He then tried another door and wound up outside and it looked night out.

"Why is it dark out? I came in when it was still mid day, this is some bull man." He said as he went through the opposite door and went back into the school. He wandered around for a little while until he came across a room on the second floor. It looked like a locker room.

"Could be the womens locker room." he said as he slunk inside. But much to his disappointment it was empty...also he is to stupid to know how to break a lock. But he kept searching until he found a locker that was cracked open a little.

"Please be something cool...please." He pleaded as he opened it...when a cat jumped out, he nearly pooped on himself...only without the nearly part.

"How dare you! I should drop you!" Harry screamed in terror of the cat for it was siamese...scary.

"hmpf scared by a cat...you are pathetic." said some random person who Harry could not see.

(BE) over to Bass

"ahh...school, I'm so happy I blew mine up, now where to search for this little witch, where to start, maybe in the classroom." Bass said as he floated into a classroom. He found a desk with a bunch of markings on it.

"Witch, burn her, for a good time call me...well these are some random markings to say the least." Bass said.

"Now if I were a scared little girl where would I hide...the science room!" Bass said as he teleported away.

(BE) back to Harry

Harry wandered around in the room looking for who ever was talking...but he couldn't find anything.

"Man, there is nothing in here but this cardboard box, but nobody would be in there" Harry said as he walked away.

"You really are dense...but I suppose I should come out." Said the voice.

The box raised up and out came a man in a gray suit medium length brown hair, and a black bandanna.

"Who are you?" Harry asked

"I am known as many things but mostly by the name..." he paused.

"Well spit it out." Harry said tapping his foot on the ground impatient.

"it is a dramatic pause for effect now shut up." The man said annoyed.

...

Darkcomet: GET ON WITH IT!

"SNAKE!" Snake exclaimed.

"Snake...right." Harry said confused.

"I'm going to assume you are here for the same reason I am." Snake said.

"I don't know I just met you." Harry said.

"I am here for two reasons one...a suspected terrorist group/cultist/drug dealer gang is here...also this may be where the patriots are." Snake said.

"Who are the Patriots?" Harry asked.

"It is to long and hard to explain...but I was told that there was no one else on this mission...wait a second getting a message via codec." Snake said as he got on one knee and held his ear. It seemed that all time froze.

"It seems there is a little girl here as well." Snake said standing back up.

"That is why I am here!" Harry said.

"Fair enough we shall work together...but I should warn you...I am a bit trigger happy." Snake said.

"We should get along fine." Harry said happily as they left that room.

(BE) in a dark room

"All is going according to plan...we just have to be ready" an elderly woman said and cackled.

"Excellent, I shall wait next to the portal until it is open...how long will it take exactly?" a Very evil sounding voice asked.

"By night time I assure you." The elderly woman spoke again.

"uh...that is quite awhile...but it seems you are quite smart so it is all good. But where is Kauffman?"The voice asked.

"Probably in the hospital getting high again...like always." The elderly woman said.

"Well, tell him to get ready." The voice said and then left.

"Yes my liege." the elderly woman said.

(BE) to Harry

"So where do we look?" Harry asked.

"Well the only place that would make sense is to go to the science room." Snake said.

"Fine, let us go then." Harry said.

"We are just across the hall." Snake said.

"Good work team" Harry motioned for a high five.

"No" Snake said walking by.  
"Asshole" Harry said following him.

When they walked in they saw Bass trying to pry something out of a hand that was just sitting there.

"Give it to me...Give it...BASTARD GIVE IT TO ME!" Bass said pulling on it and the hand pulling back.

"Sir may I ask what you are doing?" Harry asked.

"Screw it I quit!" Bass said teleporting away.

"Fool, all he needed was some chemical" Snake said.

"What chemical?" Harry asked

"This chemical." Snake said as he poured the contents of a bottle that popped up in his hand and poured it on the hand, then as quickly as it appeared it disappeared.

"Cool!" Harry said.

"Quite." Snake said as he grabbed what looked like a small moon.

"So what do we do with this." Harry asked.

"Before we do anything we need to go to the music room." Snake said as they left.

END OF CHAPTER.

Yeah this seems a little forced but oh well. But let me know if you think Snake should stay or should he go. I leave it up to my fans...or reviewers...Reviewing fans. But we do have some questions. Yes it is plural, for the first time ever! They are from riddlebox89 Firstly James how is it that you have as much intelligence as a mustache hair?

James: WHAT!

Darkcomet: Just answer the question you idiot.

James: Well, I suppose it could be because I...what are we talking about.

Darkcomet: About how stupid you are.

James: Right, I ate paint when I was a kid.

Darkcomet: I thought it was because Walter and your dad took turns beating you in the head with a plank?

James: That too.

Darkcomet: Right...next question is for Walter. What is it about you that makes you so awesome?

Walter: Well you see my friend I was born awesome, with awesome parents.

Darkcomet: Your parents left you in a room.

Walter: Well...lets see then, I have...um.

Darkcomet: Spit it out.

Walter: I am awesome because I have my blue coat of awesomeness...which I found in the cave of Awesomeness, which is located in Nebraska.

Darkcomet:...

Walter: It is true!

Darkcomet: Right... well that is all for today, join us next time on Prequels suck. Oh and if you want Snake off, suggest a replacement, it would help me. Thank you for you input.


	4. Clock Tower Madness

Chapter 4

Clock Tower Madness

Disclaimer: I wonder, does anyone read this, well if they do, they know I do not own Silent Hill in anyway

We Last left our hero . . . well whatever Harry is, wandering around the school getting ready to head to the music room.

"Why do we need to go to the music room?" Harry asked with a stupefied look.

"Because I said so." Snake said as he walked ahead of Harry.

It was at this point (and probably the only time in this story) Harry noticed something . . . there was a zipper in the back of Snakes head, which Harry doing what idiots do best, pulled it.

"HEY WAIT NO STOP!" Snake yelled in fear as the zipper reached the bottom and his skin fell like fabric, which was fabric. Yes someone had made a very accurate Solid Snake costume. All that stood there now was a smaller sandy blond headed boy...with a monkey tail.

"Thanks asshole now I can never escape." He folded his arms up and said frustrated.

"Who are you?" Harry asked confused, most likely because this boy had a tail.

"What? No I'm sorry for single handedly handing me my death warrant, or why the hell do I have a tail, or why the hell am I even in an old abandoned School!" Zidane yelled.

"No just what is your name?" Harry asked again and smiled, like a moron.

"I am Zidane...Master Thief!" He said the last part with extra effort.

"The Master Thief...doesn't that mean you steal for a living?" Harry asked.

"Well I did before my psychopath of a brother tricked me into coming to this town via twisted reality of another psychopath to kill me." Zidane said. He obviously did not know Harry was paying attention to a shiny thing on the ground...it was a nickel, needles to say there was much rejoicing for Harry.

"Let me explain better. I was tricked into coming here by my brother Kuja sending me an invitation to a party. He was actually helping some crazed killer Walter Sullivan kill people mainly his idiot brother Henri...with an I for idiot. I got beat up by some crazy bitch and left for dead. I have sense traveled from there sewing together pieces of clothing so I could sneak out, so nobody knew who I was, but I never idiot proofed the clothing, that is when you showed up...bastard. Zidane said to Harry who was still dancing over his nickle.

"Screw it I'm going to the music room." Zidane said storming off with Harry following right behind him.

(BE) in the music room

Bass stood in a room with a guitar, a drum set, a bass (heh heh), a keyboard, and a microphone.

"In order to get what you seek tell the sad tale of 2112...yes we mean the song, this of course means you have to play it...all of it. This is what you get for playing with the riddle on super impossible." Bass read the note on the keyboard.

"What kind of Bullshit is this!? 2112 what the hell is that?" Bass asked nobody in particular.

"It is the song that put Rush on the map...also it is very long." Harry said, showing another surprise intelligence from him.

"So out can't listen to me for five seconds, but when it comes to Rush you are Eienstein?" Zidane said.

"Who is Eienstein?" Harry asked.

"Don't worry about that, which one of you can play guitar?" Bass asked.

"Well I bet I can speak for Harry the idiot that none of us can..." Zidane Started to say.

"I can play." Harry said.

"What the hell man, I wonder, were like dropped on your head, and then ran over by a marching band when you were a kid." Zidane said.

"Two marching bands." Harry said proudly, to which Zidane just slapped his forehead.

"What about you monkey boy?" Bass asked.

"I take offense to that remark." Zidane said.

"Does it look like I care?" Bass asked.

"I can play drum" Zidane said rolling his eyes.

"Good. Places." Bass said.

"Wait what are you going to do?" Harry asked.

"I am going to play bass, keyboard, and sing." Bass said.

"My ass" Zidane said getting ready to drum.

Needless to say they started to play and they were doing really good, even Harry who had probably never heard this song in his life, and was just playing random notes...or is actually very intelligent, I bet the first one. But s crowd of the knife wielding babies came by with their lighters and did the waving thing.

At the end the babies just scattered like roaches to the light.

"Wow! That was Awesome!" Zidane said he used his tail as a third arm at the really intense parts.

"Dang you guys are good musicians" Bass said.

"What the hell am I holding and what was that song we just played?" Harry said confused.

"Never mind" Bass said noticing a small sun thing next to the keyboard.

"Damn this isn't what I'm looking for. You guys can take it if you need it...I have other matters to attend." He said floating away.

"Who was that guy?" Zidane asked.

"I think it was the Tooth Fairy." Harry said.

"Yeah...the Tooth Fairy, how about going out to the clock tower...because I am sick of this place." Zidane said walking outside.

"I hope I find that little brat soon or I am in Trouble." Harry said following.

(BE) to the Sunderland house

"DISNEY LAND!" James screamed happily.

"Yes dear Disney Land" Ashley said still tired.

"I am going to get Heather up." James said running to Heather's room.

"Sure why not...sometimes I wonder what I saw in him...wait I remember because he is dead sexy." Heather said to herself...and if listen real carefully you can hear Darkcomet hurling.

"Honey" James said.

"What?" Ashley replied.

"That little bitch left without us!" James said angry.

"What do you mean?" Ashley said shocked.

"It says here we will never see her again unless we give her money...I think our daughter has a drug problem." James said.

"This is a ransom note...and a man took her to Silent Hill." Ashley said.

"If only Walter and Kuja were in Silent Hill, like living in the hospital we didn't blow up with Pyramid Head." James said.

"They do" Ashley screamed with tears in her eyes.

"Let me call them then." James said.

(BE) in Brookhaven.

ring.

"Answer the damn phone!" Walter yelled.

ring.

"Hello! Is anyone going to answer it!" Walter yelled again.

ring.

"Fine...Hello." Walter said picking up the phone.

"Oh hi James."

"Who the hell is Heather...oh right."

"Kidnaped, ten billion, never see her again, well it looks like you and Ashley are better off just doing the nasty again to get a new one, just name her Ashley two." Walter said chuckling.

"James don't listen to him" Kuja said on another line.

"What the hell man why didn't you just answer the phone!" Walter yelled.

"I like eavesdropping on your conversations." Kuja said.

"How much have you heard?" Walter said.

"I know how many times you have called a nine hundred number with a different name each time." Kuja said.

"Oh yeah how many?" Walter daring Kuja.

"About two hundred and seven." Kuja said.

"And why do you listen in you sick bastard, like listening to me and my lady friends!" Walter yelled.

"They are not always women" Kuja said.

" Screw you!" Walter said slamming the phone down.

"Now James where did they take her..Silent Hill eh I will see what we can do." Kuja said hanging up the phone.

"Hello" Pyramid said after everyone had hung up.

"Why the hell do people keep ignoring me!" He said slamming and breaking another phone...the third one this week.

(BE) out in the school's courtyard

"O.K. now what" Zidane said.

"I don't know, this is too hard...I quit" Harry said throwing down the little sun and moon. They bounced and went straight into the indentations on the clock tower, the door then opened. Zidane could not believe his eyes.

"Either you did hat on purpose or you are the luckiest person I have ever met." Zidane said.

"Do what?" Harry asked.

They both walked inside. They climbed down a ladder and saw a long hallway.

"Why the hell is there ALWAYS a long hallway" Zidane said angry.

"What do you mean by always?" Harry asked, Zidane just ignored him and kept walking.

As they walked a siren started and it started getting darker.

"Oh shit the babies are coming the babies are coming!" Harry screamed and ran like a lunatic.

"Babies? Dude if you have pot give me some it would help me make it through this little adventure we are on, mostly I mean survive you." Zidane said.

"I'm not on drugs there are the little gangster babies with knives that come out when it is dark...they stab you and touch you in places." HARRY said crawling up in a ball.

"O.K. if you have acid that is O.K. too but not too much" Zidane said still clueless.

"Just run for it!" Harry grabbed Zidane by the tail and ran.

"Let go of my tail asshole!" Zidane said getting drug through the hallway and up another ladder.

When they made it outside.

"What the hell this looks like where we just came from" Zidane said.

"Yeah, with he big symbol on the ground and everything." Harry said.

"Big symbol..what the hell." Zidane said.

"Let's get out of here!" Harry screamed when he saw the gangster babies.

"Right behind you" Zidane said seeing them as well.

They ran into the school where new dangers awaited.

END OF CHAPTER

It has been awhile hasn't it? Well The poll is closed on my profile page and James wins.

James: Hell Yeah!

Walter was in second.

Walter: By how much?

Darkcomet: One vote.

Walter: SHIT!

Darkcomet: Heather was third.

Heather: I am actually surprised people still know I exist.

Darkcomet: Quit complaining, you beat Henri.

Henri: Bullshit I tell you Bullshit!

Darkcomet: Anyway I have a new poll up so please go vote in that. But we also have too more questions James and Walter.

Kuja: DAMMIT!

Darkcomet :Yes...anyway both are from riddlebox. First James what drove you to eat paint?

James: well you see Riddler.

Darkcomet: Riddlebox!

James: No The Riddler, jeeze haven't you ever read a Batman comic

Darkcomet: The Reviewer is Riddlebox.

James: Now the Reviewer is the villain in the new Batman movie

That is the Joker...not the Riddler

James: nope the clown is the Riddler, I mean what do clowns do?

Darkcomet: Tell JOKES!

James: I don't believe you

Darkcomet: ANSWER THE QUESTION!

James: I was bored on a Saturday night, and was threatened by Walter.

Darkcomet: Right...now Walter where exactly is this Cave of Awesomeness

Walter: I can't tell you then it wouldn't be the cave of awesomeness it would be the cave of people coming in trying to be awesome who are not, the Guru Panda of Cool told me so.

Darkcomet: You weren't just on an acid trip when you found this place were you?

Walter: No the Guru Panda of Cool told me so.

Darkcomet: Sure he did. Well that is all the time we have today oh and one more thing. I have been thinking of making a forum but I would like to know who would come in there on a regular basis, not just going to make a forum to talk to myself. So if you would post tell me via review, Private message or find me in one of the Forums I frequent in the Silent Hill section, I check everyday. So please give feedback and I will see you next chapter.


	5. Basement Fun

Chapter 4

Basement Fun

Disclaimer: Hey you, Reader I don't own Silent Hill

We Last Left Harry and Zidane running for their lives from the knife carrying gangsta' babies.

"They are right behind us where should we hide?" Zidane said.

"Quick in here" Harry said grabbing Zidane and pulling him in a room.

"Crap they are gone" One of the babies said.

"Well what should we do?" The second baby asked.

"Well we should just walk around aimlessly with no purpose and then asked surprised if we run into him." The first on replied.

"Sounds like a plan...normal, simple, not much work required." The second one said as they walked off.

"I think they are gone...Harry what are you looking at?" Zidane asked.

"What is this?" Harry asked looking at something.

"What you mean that shotgun on the ground?" Zidane asked not getting what the confusion was about.

"Oh!" Harry said picking up the shotgun and heading for the door.

"Moron." Zidane said.

"Actually I was talking about that package of white powder on the ground next to the shotgun." Harry said.

"Uhhh...that, that is nothing, there actually isn't anything there...just ignore this experience" Zidane said stuffing it in his pocket.

"Oh O.K." Harry said leaving the room.

"I just noticed we were in a bathroom...idiot hid us in a bathroom." Zidane said rolling his eyes.

Over to the entrance of town where Harry crashed his jeep.

"So are you sure this was the jeep?" Kuja asked.

"Yeah Ashley had us install surveillance cameras, I said we should have just listened to her dad and got the full bodyguard experience but no she wanted to be simple... no wait I bought the cameras and she wanted the guards...or did Heather want both...or was it the dog..." James thought out loud.

"James...shut up, or I will take you plank and hit you upside of the head with it." Walter said looking very annoyed.

"Well what if your kid was abducted?" Kuja said.

"That's impossible I don't have chil..." Walter suddenly came to a sudden realization.

"Shit Wally where is he. Kuja when was the last time you saw him" Walter looked around frantically.

"A few months ago...when you sent him to military school." Kuja said while inspecting the van.

"Thank goodness I thought I was losing it there for a second." Walter said.

"Well where should we start looking." James asked.

It was it this time a big Yellow Bird walked by.

"Son of a Bitch, I am going to peck his eyes out and use his skull as a toilet." Big Bird said walking bye.

"Dude what has got you pissed...and skull toilet, not as enjoyable as you would think." Walter said recalling what he did with Jimmy Stones head.

(Flashback...ohhhhhh)

"So Walter why did you kill Jimmy, he owed you money right?" James asked.

"Yeah...and." Walter said

"Well why if he owed you money?" James asked.

"It is the unwritten law of money collecting, you kill them and money will just materialize in you pocket, it is science James something that you would never get." Walter said.

"Oh...but what did you do with the head." James asked.

"Go check the bathroom" Walter said

James checked and then decided that while he was there he would do as nature intended. It was at this point that when he sat down he felt pain.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL!" James screamed.

"Yeah I thought it would be fun but then it the teeth are there, also when you do go there is no way to flush...you cleaning up the floor by the way." Walter said from the other room.

(Present)

"O.K. then just the eyes" Big Bird said walking away disgusted (why he was in this portion of town I have no idea).

"Hey this weirdo where was he headed." Kuja asked.

"I think the school but who knows...I am just going to roam the streets until I find him." Big Bird said walking off.

"Well, we should check the school." James said running off.

"Wrong way dip shit" Walter said heading the other way.

"I know, just building up speed" James said.

"Sure you were" Kuja said rolling his eyes.

Back over to Harry and Zidane.

"So why are we on the roof?" Zidane asked.

"Because we need to further the plot" Harry said.

"The what?" Zidane asked.

"Oh look a Key in a hole." Harry said but could not reach it.

"Damn it this is going to take some walking around isn't it?" Harry asked.

"No." Zidane said reaching his tail in and pulling out the key.

"Dude awesome!" Harry said.

"Yeah...but that is pretty much all this tail can do." Zidane said sadly.

"Oh bummer. "Harry said.

"Yeah...hey let's go to the basement." Zidane said.

"Why would we want to do that." Harry asked.

"Why not." Zidane replied.

Somewhere James could be heard screaming. (He can sense when someone says why not just not where they are...there would be a lot less people in this world if he could.)

When they arrived at the basement they found a locked door which they used the key on, when they got in the room they found a switch which Harry flipped and whirring could be heard.

"Dud look at this!" Harry said.

"What! Another white package!" Zidane said excited.

"No a big hammer." Harry said happily.

"DAMN IT...I mean look at that." Zidane said.

"Hey there is a cord leading to the room closest to this" . Harry said following it.

"I don't think this is a good idea." Zidane said.

The walked into the room and there was a turnstile and buttons next to it. Harry just pushed buttons until the turnstile opened.

"Well that was a giiiiiiiiip." Harry said falling down a hole.

"Damn it, why can't this ever be easy" Zidane jumped in after him.

When they reached the bottom they both saw the most chilling sight ever...a giant lizard with a boom box.

"You have came into my chambers now you have to die." He said in a funky tone.

"Wait how about a dance off...if we win we get to live...if you win you can...eat Zidane." Harry said.

"What the hell!" Zidane said.

"It is the only way." Harry said.

"Then let them eat you!" Zidane said.

"Screw that I have shit to do." Harry said.

"And I don't" Zidane said.

"Sounds good to me." The lizard said.

"DAMN IT!" Zidane yelled.

"Let the dance battle begin!" The lizard yelled and break dance music began to play. The lizard then tore into an awesome break dance routine, bending where no human should go...but he is a lizard so it is all good.

"Shit I'm screwed" Zidane said sprinkling salt on himself.

"Alright get ready to see some of the tightest shit you have ever seen." Harry said. He walked out in front of the lizard and as soon as the music began to play again...Harry fell on his face.

"You suck! Come here blondie." The lizard said going towards Zidane.

"Shit well, it was a good run...I just wish I could have seen Garnet again." Zidane said.

"OWWWW!" The lizard screamed. Harry had slammed the hammer down on its tail.

"Take that you green bastard." Harry said.

"Why You!" It screamed.

"Hey ugly." Zidane said. The Lizard turned around and got two daggers in the eyes.

"MY EYES YOU STABBED OUT MY EYES!" It screamed as Zidane ran to Harry.

"Well we at least get to die together now." Zidane said.

"Thank goodness for that." Harry said pulling out his shotgun.

"I actually meant he gets to kill us...not that" Zidane said.

"Then What do I do with this?" Harry asked.

"I don't know...where were you keeping it?" Zidane asked. They didn't notice the lizard opening its gigantic mouth and was currently running at them.

"In my pocket...why?" Harry asked.

"Then put it in there...wait why is the ground shaking?" Zidane asked.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They both screamed as they saw the monster almost on top of them. Harry then accidentally fired the shotgun twice into the monsters mouth and it fell.

"Dude what the hell?" Zidane asked...he then passed out.

"Whoa" Harry said passing out as well.

When the woke up they were in the front of the school.

"How the hell did we get here?" Zidane asked.

"Yeah that isn't how it is supposed to happen." Harry said.

"How what was supposed to happen." Zidane said.

"What I didn't say anything." Harry said.

"Never mind then." Zidane said.

"Hey who is Garnet...a girlfriend." Harry asked.

"Uh no...no never heard of her swear it...but if she did exist she would be totally hot...and I would have banged her, also she would be my girlfriend...so to sum it all up yeah she is my girlfriend." Zidane said.

"Oh shit...it's her dad." Harry said.

"Shit he still hasn't forgiven me for what happened at the Christmas party." Zidane said.

"No, that girls dad, they must have followed me here." He said pointing to James, Walter, and Kuja walking down the street.

"Shit my brother we need to hide...but what did you do to piss them off? "Zidane asked.

"I kind of kidnaped the one in the green jacket's daughter." Harry said.

"Well if I help you find her, I want half." Zidane said.

"Deal, but let's get the hell out of here." Harry said running.

"Agreed" He said as the snuck past the trio who never even noticed.

END OF CHAPTER

Hey guys I got a chapter up whooo go me! Now I have no questions this time so I guess I will just ask for some and also for your feedback on the forum idea. Remember if enough people will come into there often I will make one for awesomness. So Review me and also give me feedback on the story, should have one up next week.

But as of July 24th I have been on this site for two years so yeah, I will be around for longer than that I assure you. So until next time, adios.


	6. Up the Creepy

Chapter 6

Up the Creepy

Disclaimer: I don't own Silent Hill...and I'm also sorry if you throw up during today's chapter.

Harry and Zidane just escaped from James, Walter, and Kuja...who didn't even know they were there.

"So...which one's kid did you kidnap?" Zidane asked.

"The one in the green jacket...he is Ashley Graham's husband" Harry said as they slowed to a walk.

"No shit the ex-president's daughter, you got balls." Zidane said chuckling.

"I kidnaped a princess once...let me just say the consequences of that were somewhat...catastrophic." Zidane said.

"Like how?" Harry asked.

"Well it is how I met Kuja for the first time, met my future wife, and all of the rest of the people I hate...except Vivi he was awesome, dude he acted meek around everyone but he was a real badass, he winked at a girl and she stripped for him...I wish I had those powers." Zidane rambled.

"Yeah but the only negative part about this is that I lost the girl." Harry said.

"Well at least you didn't fall in love with her." Zidane said.

"She's seven" Harry said.

"Oh...well...uh...Ah what the hell Garnet was hot, Damn should have thought about her when I walked into that Burger King" Zidane said.

"You cheated on her huh?" Harry asked.

"Yeah with at least ten girls...on ten different occasions." Zidane said.

"You stupid bastard." Harry chuckled and walked ahead.

"He probably doesn't know what way up and he calls me stupid? Jackass." Zidane said trying to catch up.

They walked for a little while and then Harry heard something in the distance.

"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH I AM GOING TO KILL YOU VIOLENTLY!" screamed Big Bird who was walking down the street.

"Shit" Harry said.

"Dude...is that Big Bird, why do you think he is so pissed?" Zidane asked.

"I kind of killed his brother...by making him explode violently." Harry said.

"You stupid bastard" Zidane said about to walk off.

"I WILL ALSO KILL ANYONE WITH YOU!" Big Bird screamed randomly.

"Damn it!" Zidane said.

"Quick in the church!" Harry yelled grabbing Zidane and running inside the church.

"We should be safe in here." Harry said.

"Ah and what brings you here?" a woman's voice asked.

Harry looked twords the front of the church and saw a lady with her back turned.

"Watch this Zidane" Harry said.

"Well you fine thing what brings you here?" Harry asked. Zidane just slapped his head at the stupidity.

"Worship" She said as she turned around and as it turns out she was like eighty.

"GAH!" Harry screamed.

"Holy shit that is old...she kind of reminds me of Garnet's mom only...less chunky." Zidane said creeped out.

"My name is Dahlia...what's yours stud." She said winking.

"Harry...Harry Mason." Harry said almost crying.

"Well you look...handsome to say the least." She said in a pur.

"I am going to be sick as a dog." Zidane said holding his mouth to hold back the vomit.

"Well I need to be going." Harry said getting ready to leave.

"Wait...you're here for the girl right?" Dahlia asked.

"Yes where is she?" Harry said getting happy for a second.

"Well I can tell you...but you have to earn it." Dahlia said ripping of her clothes and was down to her underwear.

"Oh that is it!" Zidane ran to the nearest trash can and hurled.

"So are you up to the task...sailor." Dahlia said as she fondled a unmoving Harry.

"Well...you see...I um..." Harry stammered.

"Your shy...that's cute." She said as she began to make out with him.

"OH! That is sick!" Zidane said looking up and then hurling again.

"See now was that so bad?" She asked.

Harry was so creeped out he could only shake his head.

"Well we've only just begun." Dahlia said getting ready for more.

Darkcomet: Enough...for the love of all the is holy stop there...I am about to vomit here, as I am sure the readers are as well...so just tell him where the girl is.

"FINE! Well looks like we will have to finish this later." Dahlia purred rubbing Harry's face.

Darkcomet: I have been branded for life by this...I just know it.

"The girl was last seen heading in the direction of the hospital." Dahlia said walking off.

" Th...th...th...Thank you" Harry said almost in tears as he turned to leave.

"Wait!" She hollered.

"Oh shit." Harry said turning around.

"You may need this." Dahlia said tossing him a triangle thing.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"I have no idea but hey, you might need it." Dahlia said.

"Thanks...gotta go." Harry said grabbing Zidane said as he ran out of the church almost screaming.

"Fool...he knows not of what he is getting involved in." Dahlia said.

"Hey Lady can I have my cookies now?" Heather said as she walked in.

"Not right now sweetie." She said putting on her kind old lady act.

"Why are you almost naked?" Heather asked disgusted.

"...uh...I was...hot." Dahlia said and smiled.

"Ooooo Kay." Heather said leaving the room.

"Annoying little bitch." Dahlia said.

(BE) Back over at the school

"So why would they come here?" James asked

"Who the hell knows." Walter said

"Well we should ask around." Kuja said. A little gangsta' baby walked by.

"Hey have you seen a suspicious guy walking around?" Kuja asked.

" Yeah...but why should I tell you bitch." It said.

"Hey, you got a problem" Walter said.

"What is it any of your business, you blonde haired princess." The baby said.

"Aw Hell no...You wanna go." Walter said throwing his arms up.

"This ain't no chick fight like you are used to" It said chuckling.

"That's it" Walter said tackling the baby.

"FIGHT!" James yelled as a bunch of the little babies ran out and started chanting.

"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" The babies chanted.

"Whoop his ass Frankie!" one of them screamed.

"Hey did you see a suspicious guy walking around here." Kuja asked one of the babies watching the fight.

"Yeah...he walked through a back alley and me and a bunch of my friends jumped him...took his wallet." The baby said handing them the wallet.

"Harry Mason huh...Thanks" Kuja said handing back the wallet.

"No problem." It said/

"Do you know where he went?" Kuja asked.

"Yeah...he was heading to the hospital." The baby said.

"Do you know why?" Kuja asked.

"No...but after the beating we gave him earlier he probably needed to go to one. So he will probably be there." The baby said.

"Thanks...James we need to go...right after the fight" Kuja said as he watched the fight.

(BE) back to Harry and Zidane.

They had walked until they had found a raised bridge.

"Well that's just great...now what." Harry said.

"Well you could just raise the bridge." Zidane said.

"Good idea." Harry said walking up to the control room.

"But be quiet...don't forget people are after us." Zidane said.

"Right" Harry said going into the control room.

He then pushed a button and the bridge lowered in the loudest way possible.

Harry then came back out.

"Quiet as a mouse." He said.

"Yeah, like a mouse with it's tail on fire running through a firework factory!" Zidane yelled.

"I know right" Harry said.

"Whatever let's just go." Zidane said as they began to walk again.

(BE) to a dark place.

"How is it coming along?" A deep evil voice said.

"Good...the girl is ready for you to poses her." Dahlia said.

"What about Alessa...is she going to be a problem?" The voice asked.

"Please the one thing you shouldn't be worried about is my daughter." Dahlia said.

"Well you couldn't she ... I mean she s psychic...she could try to sabotage the operation." The voice said.

"Well then this could be interesting" Dahlia said leaving.

"Oh and Dahlia" The voice said.

"Yes?" She said.

"If you come in here half naked again...I am going to have to kill you." The voice said.

"Yes sir" She said leaving.

"Hmmm...Alessa, she could be used as the gate to this whole thing...need to arrange that." The voice said.

(BE) back to James

"DAMN! I would have won if the baby hadn't bit me in the neck." Walter yelled.

"Yeah...those babies are violent." Kuja said.

"Hey guys look footprints leading into this church" James said running in after them.

"Uhhh...James I wouldn't" Kuja said running after him.

When they all got inside there was a nude Dahlia in front of them.

"Oh...It's you Walter, are you here to accept my offer.?" Dahlia asked.

" I would rather kill myself" Walter said disgusted.

"You did kill yourself." Kuja said.

"I know, I got my point across" Walter said.

"Have you seen a man named Harry Mason?" James asked.

"Yes he went to the hospital" Dahlia said.

"hmm that baby was right." Kuja said.

"Thank you...now let's go" James said.

"Hey I told you where he was going so what are you going to do for me?" Dahlia asked.

James and Kuja both look at Walter.

"Oh hell no!" Walter said.

About ten minuets later.

"Bye baby." Dahlia could be heard inside the church as Walter walked outside putting on his coat.

"I swear you tell anybody about this...I will kill you." Walter said storming off.

"Hey Walter...was she magically delicious." James said following him.

"Shut up" Walter said still walking.

"Walter Sullivan romancer of the elderly" Kuja said.

"I swear I will kill you" Walter said still walking as the others followed.

(BE) inside the hospital.

"We finally found this place" Zidane said.

"Oh I hope some hot nurses are walking around." Harry said.

"Have you seen anything in this town that isn't almost mummified?" Zidane asked.

"The hot cop lady." Harry said.

"Whatever." Zidane said as a gun shot was heard.

"What the?" Harry said as they walked off.

They Walked into a room where an older man was sitting on the ground holding a smoking pistol with a dead bird thing at his feet.

"Dude I did the same thing Big Bird is going to be pissed...even more." Harry said.

"Who are you?" Zidane asked.

"I am Dr. Kauffman." He said.

END OF CHAPTER

Suspenseful...who is Dr. Kauffman, well if you have played the game you would know. But I digress, If you have a burning question for the cast they will be willing to answer...after some forceful persuasion. But don't forget to write me a review. So until next time...later.


	7. The Two Sides of Kaufmann

Chapter 7

The Two Sides of Kaufmann

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own Silent Hill

"Are you really a doctor?" Zidane asked.

"Yeah man...or do you want something else?" A drugged out Kaufmann asked.

"Dude are you high?" Harry asked.

"No why would you say that" Kaufmann said in a regular strict voice.

"No reason" Harry said.

"Oh...alright man that's alright" Kaufmann said in his drugged out voice.

"Have you seen a little girl around here?" Harry asked.

"No...I can't say that I have" Kaufmann said in his normal anal sounding voice.

"Are you a drug dealer?" Zidane asked.

"Yeah man one of the best" Kaufmann said sounding like a hippie again.

"Can I have some drugs?" Zidane said.

"No I don't deal drugs" Kaufmann said disgusted at even being asked such a question.

"But you just said you did" Harry said confused...of course it doesn't take a lot to confuse Harry.

"Did what man?" Kaufmann asked again.

"That you deal drugs." Zidane said.

"No I don't deal drugs...I am a respectable doctor. I only help people." Kaufmann said in his regular voice.

"You help people in a place like this? How?" Zidane asked.

"By selling them drugs to get high on!" Kaufmann said happily.

"Well that does make sense." Zidane said. Seeing how people would live in this town...they would need something to cope.

"What makes sense there monkey boy?" Kaufmann asked back to his normal voice.

"That you sell drugs to people in this town." Zidane said.

"I know man it has made me rich. Oh hey man I gotta go...some clients to meet...you know what I'm talking about." Kaufmann said winking.

"Oh alright you do that." Harry said still confused.

"Yes those orphans need all of the help they can get." Kaufmann said walking out the door.

"Did he just say he was going to sell drugs to orphans?" Zidane asked.

"I know...what a good Samaritan." Harry said.

"Oh by the way man...if you see this nurse who says I beat her...just remember she is a lying bitch man...and tell her she owes me for that last fix. Later dudes" Kaufmann said poking his head in and out of the door.

"What just happened?" Harry asked.

"I think he has a split personality" Zidane said.

"Really?" Harry asked.

"Yeah...one is an uptight doctor, and one is a raging drug dealer hippie." Zidane said.

"Weird" Harry said.

"Yeah...well I've seen all I can handle" Zidane said leaving the room.

"Yeah...I want to meet this nurse...I hope she is hot" Harry said following him in the hallway.

"Well...do we need to go up?" Zidane asked.

"Sure...third floor" Harry said.

Harry said as they got into an elevator. The elevator was all whit on the inside.

"Hmm...you would figure this would stick out but...somehow it doesn't." Zidane said.

"In the white room, with black curtains, at the station" Harry sang.

"Harry...shut up." Zidane said as they went up.

(BE) out on the streets.

"Well, the bridge is down, do you think they have made it to the hospital?" Kuja asked.

"Probably...but who knows" Walter said.

"Hey let's ask that guy there" James said pointing at a figure in the mist.

"Oh shit Kaufmann" Kuja said rolling his eyes.

"This is always fun" Walter said sarcastically.

"Hey Walter man, what's going on!" Kaufmann said going for a hug.

"No...no. What are you doing?" Walter asked.

"I am going to the orphanage" Kaufmann said in his regular voice.

"Wow...that is noble of you Kaufmann" Kuja said.

"Yeah...you make a killing selling there. Stupid bastards by anything." the Hippie Kaufmann said.

"Never mind." Kuja said.

"One of these days we are going to help them all" Kaufmann said.

"I think you are all ready helping them" James said.

"I know man...those dumb ass baby monsters are in need of some real help, and I'm the son of a bitch to help them" Kaufmann said.

"Well I hope all goes well." Kuja said.

"I'm sure it will" Kaufmann said smiling.

"You have cleared it with Pyramid Head right?" Walter asked.

"No..but who gives a shit man. I am going with or without the permission of that dick head." Kaufmann said.

"Oh...right have you seen any suspicious people walking around." James asked.

"Yes. Actually just a few minuets ago at the hospital. If you are looking for them, you aren't to far behind." Kaufmann said very proper.

"Thanks" James said as they ran on.

"Don't mention it man" Kaufmann hollered.

(BE) in the hospital

"Save Me!" Harry yelled as he shot out of bed. He looked around and he was in what looked like the room they met Kaufmann in but it was different. Rust was everywhere and every thing smelled of almonds.

"Calm down Harry" Zidane said sitting on the other side of the room.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"Well..." Zidane started to say.

(BE) Five minuets ago.

"So what is the deal wit this place?" Harry asked as everything got dark.

"I don't know, but it certainly is strange" Zidane said as they walked through a dark hallway. When they reached the end, they went through a door and down a staircase.

"Time for a check up!" A Demonic looking doctor said from nowhere holding a knife.

"Oh shit...not a physical!" Harry said running away...and promptly hitting a wall.

(BE) present

"And that is how we got here...after I carried your heavy ass down a flight of stairs while getting chased by doctors and nurses" Zidane said.

"It's a good thing you are O.K." a red haired nurse said stepping out of the shadows.

"Hey baby" Harry said trying to charm her.

"Not with me buddy" the nurse said cutting him short.

"It's alright take your time" Harry said winking.

"And you risked your life for him?" She asked.

"Well we are business partners" Zidane said.

"What is your name foxy mama" Harry said.

"Lisa...now would you shut up." She said.

"He has a hard time doing that" Zidane said.

"Why are you guys here?" Lisa asked.

"We...well...looking for his daughter" Zidane said remembering the excuse.

"Oh...is she gone?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah...ran away from poor Harry" Zidane said.

"I couldn't see why" She said sarcastically.

"Hey your that nurse Kaufmann told us about. He said pay up for that last fix" Harry said.

"Like I'm going to give money to that bastard. You would have a better chance of banging me on that table over there." Lisa said angry.

"Well, if you insist" Harry said taking off his clothes.

"No I didn't mean I would!" She yelled.

"Harry put your clothes back on!" Zidane yelled.

"What she said.." Harry started to say.

"I was just exaggerating" She said upset.

"I'm sorry about him...he is an idiot. But may I ask, what happened here?" Zidane asked.

"Well, I took a nap in here like I do everyday at about nine A.M., but when I woke up everyone was gone." She said.

"Sounds awful" Harry said trying to put his arm around her.

"If you touch me I will break your arm." She said.

"Right" Harry said pulling his arm back.

"Well, can we help" Zidane asked.

"If you really want to" She said.

"If we help you what are my odds of you sleeping with me?" Harry asked.

"Point one percent" She said.

"Best odds in my life!" Harry exclaimed.

"Wait didn't you have this girl your looking for naturally?" Lisa asked.

"Best odds since my late wife!" Harry yelled.

"Oh you poor single parent" Lisa said.

"Yeah...could we possibly..." Harry started to say.

"Don't start just go" She said.

"Yes Mam" Harry said rushing to help.

"We will see if we can help around here." Zidane said.

"Thank you" Lisa said.

"Hey Zidane how are we supposed to help here?" Harry asked.

"I don't have a damn clue...let's check the basement, that has always worked before." Zidane said.

"Hey Zidane do you think she will sleep with me?" Harry asked.

"In the off chance that we do help her, and she turns out to be not real...then yeah I'd say you'd have a real good shot. Zidane said.

"Great let's go!" Harry said rushing towards what seemed to be the basement.

END OF CHAPTER

Sorry this seemed so short. Updates could be limited over the next few months. I stat school on Monday, but the potentially good news is that I have Tuesdays off! So that could be good news. So until next time please read and review, also don't forget you can ask the characters questions. The want to answer, and sometimes have me answer for them and humiliate them. So, Please Review.


	8. Harry and The Hospital

Chapter 8

Harry and the Hospital

Disclaimer: Not that anybody cares but I still do not own this series.

"So why is it taking Darkcomet so long to update?" Harry asked.

"Well it could be that he has started college, but I would tread lightly if I were you, I have heard he is in a bad mood." Zidane said as they stood in the basement of the hospital.

"Well he is too much of a punk to do anything" Harry said.

Darkcomet: Oh yeah? You think so, why don't I just send a rabid pack of dogs in here to feed on your entrails? Would that be a punk move?

"No...I'll be good." Harry said scared to death.

"Let's just go in here" Zidane said also not happy being in there anymore.

Darkcomet: Don't test me

"Right sir, yes sir!" Harry said looking around the room.

"What is that?" Zidane asked.

"It appears to be a very large hammer" Harry said picking it up.

"That is pretty cool, let me just flip this that says 'flip or die. Darkcomet'. Damn he is really pissed" Zidane said

"Yeah well we need to go upstairs" Harry said getting a little creeped out at this basement.

(BE) Over to James

"So where would they be in here?" James asked.

"Probably on this floor somewhere" Kuja said.

"Yeah, lucky for us they made everything go creepy for us." Walter said looking around and noticing the landscape to be rather...evil.

"Cool, so let's find them" Kuja said as he was getting ready to walk.

"All I'm saying is if I get with one can't I introduce her to the other, maybe get a threesome out of it?" A voice asked.

"Shh listen" Walter said.

"Well, in my experience that normally doesn't work, but eh with your extremely good luck, it will probably happen" Zidane said.

"I know that voice" Kuja said as they rounded the corner.

"HA! FOUND HIM!" James yelled, alarming both Zidane and Harry.

"Shit it's the idiot" Harry said.

"Your one to talk" Zidane said.

"I thought you died Zidane, I thought Eileen killed you when she got posses?" Kuja said.

"Hey up yours bro! That would have never happened if you hadn't tried to kill me in the first place...asshole" Zidane said a little agitated.

"Well sorry for asking." Kuja said.

"Well, I was going to disguise myself and leave, but the moron over here ruined my disguise." Zidane said.

"Why did you think you could of made it out of here without us noticing you in your stupid Snake costume." Kuja said.

"Hey it was...hey how did you know about the Snake costume?" Zidane said.

"We've been spying on you." Kuja said smirking.

"You sick Bastard I'm gonna kill you!" Zidane yelled.

"Bring it you damn dirty ape!" Kuja said.

"Oh, I'll bring it nancy boy!" Zidane said.

"Give me my daughter back!" James yelled.

"I don't have her" Harry said.

"Oh...O.K. then...hey wait a second. I KNEW IT YOU WERE LYING!" James yelled.

"Do you see her near me?" Harry asked.

"Your Hiding her in you Pocket!" James yelled.

"Up yours Blondie!" Harry said.

"Screw you Brownie!" James said.

"Are guys going to keep bitching or is there going to be a fight! Damn you guys are total wimps, I wish at least one thousand nurses would show up and kill you all!" walter yelled having had enough of the arguing, and still no bloodshed.

It was at that moment approximately one thousand nurses showed up in the entrance hallway where they were.

"Well, it looks as though we have to work together to kill these guys, are you with us?" Kuja turned to ask Harry and Zidane, but they had already ran back into the hospital.

"Damn...should have said a thousand marshmallows or something, but no I had to say Nurses...and they aren't even the hot kind damn it! Up Yours Darkcomet!" Walter yelled.

Darkcomet: Why the hell is everyone on my case today...fine tell me if you like this better?

All of the nurses pulled out machine guns.

"Shit." Walter said.

"I'm confused...are they going to kill us?" James asked.

"Yes...yes James they are." Kuja said.

"Why?" James asked.

"Why n..."

"NO!" James yelled before Kuja could even finish.

"Fine...it's because Walter is an idiot" Kuja said.

"Oh...at least it isn't my fault this time. Walter you're a Jackass." James said.

"I hate you all" Walter said running at the nurses.

Over to Harry and Zidane running.

"Run you stupid bastard." Zidane said as he got on the elevator.

"I'm trying!" Harry yelled trying to reach the elevator.

"Get in" Zidane said as Harry got on...why he felt the need to say it, I guess he just isn't thinking straight.

"What floor?" Zidane asked as he heard machine gun fire.

"I don't care just get us out of here!" Harry yelled.

The door shut and they started moving.

"Oh shit that was scary" Harry said.

"I know...I still can't believe they followed us here" Zidane said.

"How did they do it?" Harry asked.

"They must be very intelligent." Zidane said.

Back down in the lobby.

"OH shit run!" James yelled as they ran down the hallways.

"Walter if I die...I am going to kill you again in the afterlife!" Kuja said.

"Well, you'll be there not me, for I am already dead." Walter said smugly.

"Oh, really" Kuja said kicking Walter in the knee opening a door and pulling james in as the door shut.

"What the hell man?" Walter said in pain.

"I mean come on why did...you...do that" Walter said looking up and seeing himself surrounded by nurses.

Back over to Harry and Zidane

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" they heard Walter scream.

"Ha, poor bastard." Harry said.

"Hey look at this" Zidane said holding up a picture.

"That looks like the girl I abducted" Harry said.

"There is only one person who can tell us what is happening." Zidane said.

(A little later)

"Who is this" Zidane said handing the picture to Lisa.

"That is Alessa, Dahlia's daughter" Lisa said.

"That thing has actually reproduced." Harry shuddered at the thought...just as everyone should.

"Yes, but I haven't heard from her in years...I always wondered what happened to her." Lisa said.

"That's it no video tape about how poor she was treated?" Harry said.

"What! No!" Lisa said shocked. Zidane just looked at Harry puzzled.

"Just thought there would be that's all." Harry said.

"I can't believe I'm going to ask this...where can we find Dahlia?" Zidane asked.

"She runs the antique shop not to far from here, why not look there." Lisa said.

"So...baby about that offer I made?" Harry said.

"Does it look like things are even remotely better here?" Lisa asked.

"We will come back later to deal with that" Harry said as he and Zidane left.

"Well, I guess the only thing to do is to find...Dahlia" Zidane said as he almost vomited in his mouth.

"Oh this is going to suck" Harry said.

END OF CHAPTER.

Hey guys sorry it took me so long, School has been a pain. I have also had some personal issues arise, they are still going on. Also I am going to be in a play at my college. Practice starts September 22. That is bad news for those reading this, it will probably eat up a lot of time. So long story short, It will probably be awhile for the next update.

Walter: What about my question.

Oh right, it is from Arella16. She wants to know if you miss the hotdog machine.

Walter: Deeply, I miss it every day and every night. Come home to me hotdog machine.

Shadow: Didn't that explode?

Walter: Don't make me relive it.

Shadow: Do you need to cry on my shoulder?

Walter: YES! I MISS YOU HOTDOG MACHINE! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO EXPLODE!

Kuja: Wow! James had his daughter abducted, and he hasn't even shed a tear.

James: Who was abducted? Was it me?

So there you have it. Yes Walter misses the hotdog machine, and James is still an idiot.

Shadow: No one asked that.

Still it would please everyone to know. So I don't know when I will update again. But Please send me some reviews, they may make me feel better. So Until next time (whenever that is) Later.


	9. Antique Shopping

Chapter 9

Antique shopping

Disclaimer: Hey I own nothing

"So where are we going to find Dahlia?" Harry asked as him and Zidane left the Hospital

"Hey big sexy" Dahlia said walking up out of nowhere.

"Well that was easy." Zidane said amused.

"Hey there is a place I think you should go...totally not going to take you in to an alternate version of this town where you will most certainly not be assaulted by weird monkey things." Dahlia said.

"Well that is convincing enough...where is it?" Harry asked.

"At my antique shop...just crawl through a hole in the wall. AND DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!." Dahlia screamed hand Harry the key.

"Right let's just be going then" Zidane said.

"Remember...if you touch anything I will personally cut your rod off." Dahlia said.

"Creepy" Harry thought.

"So what is the deal with this, she shows up out of nowhere and tells us to go to her antique shop...something is up." Zidane said.

"You don't think she is going to offer up that little brat as a sacrifice to bring out some ultra evil demon to fulfill some sort of religious ceremony...do you?" Harry asked.

"...No I just thought she was going to have some big dude there knock us out and she violate us while we are unconscious." Zidane said a little freaked out by Harry.

"Oh...well I suppose that would be bad as well." Harry said as they continued their walk towards the antique shop.

(BE) back inside the hospital

"How do you think Walter is doing?" James asked.

"Pretty bad probably...let's go watch" Kuja said. They walked outside and saw nothing, so they walked around for awhile a little confused, they eventually searched the roof, where they discovered something crazy.

"Hey guys, what is going on!" Walter said sitting in a hot tub with his arm draped around two monster nurses in bikinis (I know disturbing) but the weirdest thing was he was still in his trench coat.

"What in the hell?" Kuja said.

"Yeah it was the annual office party so instead of fighting we came up here." Walter said.

"Well that is all well and good but...what about James's daughter" Kuja said as a drunken nurse and doctor almost stumbled right into him.

"Speaking of James where is he?" Walter asked.

"He's right...shit" Kuja said.

James had been pulled inside a room off on the third floor.

"So honey how about two nurses instead of one" A nurse said to James.

"Uhh, I feel fine thanks...uhh...whatever you things are." James said.

"Screw it knock him out." The other nurse said as the first hit him with a club.

"Can we lose the costumes?" The first nurse asked.

"Yes" The second answered only in a more manly voice. The pulled the nurse uniforms aside revealing...The hanging men from Brookhaven Hospital all the way back from the first story.

"Heh heh just like old times" The first said.

(BE) back over to Harry

"Well here we are at the antique shop" Harry said.

"Hold it right there" a woman's voice said.

"What the hell...Oh officer hot ass...I mean Cybil" Harry said.

"Oh...it's you. Harry right?" She said not to enthused to see him.

"Hey baby how you doing, miss me?" Harry asked.

"No, not really the silence was refreshing." Cybil said.

"Well, I must say you might have competition for my affection, a sweet little nurse." Harry said like he is a player to which Zidane just rolled his eyes to.

"Oh...darn I am so upset." Cybil said sarcastically

"Don't worry baby I wont choose favorites. I will hold a competition...I'm thinking mud wrestling" Harry said.

"Right...you do that" Cybil felt it was just safer to go along with it.

"Harry...can we just go inside...I mean I'm sure she wants to sleep with you. But we have more important issues." Zidane said.

"Yeah...I'll go in with you if you just shut up and stop talking about screwing me for a few minuets" Cybil said.

"Agreed" Harry said unlocking the door and walking inside.

"So where is this hole she spoke of?" Zidane said.

"Uhh...I don't know...oh right there" Harry noticing the hole.

"I'm not really sure about this" Cybil said.

"Don't worry baby I will go in and check it out for you." Harry said trying to sound manly.

"No you might die in...actually that seems like a good idea, good luck." Cybil said.

"See you soon" Harry said crawling in.

"I hate you Harry" Zidane said following him.

"Sucker" Cybil said walking off to continue the search for the little girl.

When the reached the other side.

"Finally I found what I was looking for." Bass was so happy exclaiming his joy was the least he could do.

"Hey it is that weird flying dude from back in the school." Harry said.

"Come to steal my prize have you?" Bass said shocked to see Harry and Zidane.

"Umm...no actually some horny old bitch told us to come here and not touch anything. Do you have any idea why" Harry asked.

"No, but I know why you have come. TO STEAL MY POWER!" Bass yelled.

"No we've come to find little girl." Zidane said.

"I didn't know you guys swung that way...I mean I'm weird but at least I don't like little kids" Bass said.

"Not in that way you perverted bastard!" Zidane yelled.

"Oh...well there is this weird alter here, I don't know how that will help but hey...it's here." Bass said.

"Let me see" Harry said, but as he walked up to the alter a siren started to blare.

"What is that!?" Kuja said.

"Aw Shit, time to go." Bass said as he disappeared.

"Whoa...getting dizzy" Harry said as he passed out.

"Damn it" Zidane said as he went out as well.

(BE) Back at the hospital

"James wake up." Kuja said looking down at James.

"Kuja where am I? Also Why does my ass hurt so much?" James asked.

"Wait James. What was the last thing you remember?" Walter asked.

"Being in here with two of those freaky nurses, then getting knocked out...why?" James asked.

"Oh shit it happened again..HA HA!" Walter laughed.

"What happened again?" James asked.

"...Nothing. I don't know what happened you must have tripped passed out and imagined the whole thing." Walter said trying not to laugh.

"That sounds like something I would do...So you must be right." James said.

"Yeah...so let's get out of here and look for those other ass holes." Walter said.

(BE) back at the weird alter thing.

"Damn where are we?" Harry asked.

"I don't know but hasn't this happened before? We got confused and suddenly the entire place was different, more evil looking?" Zidane said.

"Yeah but Dahlia said that wasn't going to happen." Harry said.

"Yeah well I'll be Dahlia is an old lying bitch." Zidane said.

"No she isn't, let's leave this place, it creeps me out." Harry said as they walked out and the ground was literally a chain link fence.

"Well they sure changed things around here haven't they?" Harry asked.

"Yeah...Changed or transformed. You stupid son of a bitch." Zidane said upset.

"I love you too" Harry said as he walked into a nearby building.

"It is a mall" Harry said.

"Great now what could be worse than what is happening now...really I challenge whatever is watching us to make this worse." Zidane said as they continued to walk and the floor crashed in on them.

"Well this isn't so bad" Zidane said.

"ROAR!" a giant bug larva came out of the ground and stared at them.

"This is BULLSHIT!" Zidane screamed in anger.

(BE) at Brookhaven.

"Geeze I wonder when the annual nurse party is at the other hospital, I have been practicing my rape moves all year." Pyramid head said excited.

Darkcomet: Actually it is going on right now...they forgot to invite you.

"What, those bastards...why wouldn't they invite us?" Pyramid head asked.

"I don't know why they didn't invite you cuz" Valtiel said dancing.

"Who knows...wait me, what do you mean by that?" Pyramid head asked.

"I got invited and am leaving in a few" Valtiel said.

"Can I come?" Pyramid head asked.

"Hellz no! I got a reputation to keep and I can't be seen with you" Valtiel said leaving.

"Oh well at least I am in Homecoming, I am probably so awesome in there...isn't that right Darkcomet" Pyramid head said with pride.

Darkcomet: Whatever you say...Bogeyman.

"What man?" Pyramid head asked.

Darkcomet: That is what they call you...and you don't do very much.

"Those Konami Bastards!" Pyramid Head screamed.

END OF CHAPTER

Just thought I would close with something funny...poor Bogey...I mean Pyramid head. I am still alive and my schedule is still pretty full but I got some free time to type so I figured why not. There are no questions this week but I encourage some...It would make some of the cast feel acknowledged (cough Henri cough) and they don't have to be a coherent question...I will force them to answer it anyway, why you ask...because that is how I roll. So be sure to stick around you never know when I am going to update. So please review. Later.


	10. Attack of the Killer Grub

Chapter 10

Attack of the Killer Grub

Disclaimer: I shouldn't say it anymore but, I still do not own anything Silent Hill

"DAMN KONAMI BASTARDS!" Pyramid Head screamed as he hurdled another desk I the This Sucks office.

"Man what happened to him?" Walter asked.

"He was so excited to be in Homecoming but he got the shaft and was barley seen." Kuja said.

"Also something about us leaving him behind all of the time." James said hiding under a desk across the room.

"Funny I don't remember that" Walter said. He was now ducking for cover.

"I AM GONNA KILL EVERYBODY!" Pyramid Head yelled in rage.

"Oh shit you don't think everybody is us do you?"James asked.

"Well if you are in this plane of existence yes I think he means you and me." Kuja said.

"Sniff my only regret is that I never got to see my hotdog machine again." Walter said on the verge of crying.

"So Help me god if you cry about that damn thing I will kill you myself." Kuja said.

Darkcomet: What seems to be the problem?

"Pyramid Head has gone nuts!" James screamed.

Darkcomet:... I have an idea, hey Pyramid Head.

"Huh?" Pyramid Head said.

Darkcomet: Whisper Whisper.

"YES!!!" Pyramid Head exclaimed as he ran out the door.

"What did you tell him?" Walter asked.

Darkcomet: Oh you'll see...but get back to work!

(BE) Meanwhile back in the story.

"Harry I should have just waited in that locker room for something to kill me, but despite my better judgement I followed you and now I am going to be larva shit." Zidane ranted.

"I love you to buddy." Harry said.

"Dumb son of a bitch" Zidane said.

"Hi guys I am a grub, I am small now but I will grow to be a big boy later." It said.

"Riiiiiight." Zidane said.

"But in order to do that I need to eat human flesh." The grub said.

"Oh...well shit I was hoping you were going to say money but damn, guess I was wrong." Harry said.

"Now, it is food time." The grub said as it dug into the floor and disappeared.

"Harry do something!" Zidane yelled.

"If I had some sort of hunting rifle." Harry thought. Suddenly a hunting rifle fell off of the walkway above and pegged Zidane in the head.

"I have great green apples." Zidane said before he fell to the ground out cold.

"Zidane do you have a ... hey thanks" Harry said picking up the rifle.

"Hmm, now where are you giant bug bastard." Harry said.

"Here I am to eat your flesh!" It yelled as it popped out in front of him.

"How about eat something from this bitch!" Harry yelled as he shot the larva in the...well he shot it I know that.

"Ow, That really hurt...I am gonna get you for that." It said as it ran away.

"Yeah...Harry kicks ass!" Harry said doing a little dance.

"Where am I?" Zidane asked.

"Sleeping on the job, lazy bastard." Harry said.

"Harry...shut up." Zidane said walking away.

(BE) over on the other side of town.

"No guys really my ass hurts something fierce." James said.

"Oh I know it does...sucker" Walter said.

"What?" James asked.

"Nothing" Walter chuckled.

"Oh dear god." Kuja said seeing what was ahead of them.

"Hey there man meat." Dahlia said running up and rubbing on Walter.

"Get off of me you dusty old whore!" Walter yelled pushing her off of him.

"Yeah I like it rough." Dahlia said with a purr.

"You crazy old bitch!" Walter yelled in disgust.

"Hey have you seen the moron and the guy with the tail come through here?" Kuja asked.

"Yes." She said.

"Which way did they go?" James asked.

"You know the deal, You give me something I give you something." She said looking at Walter longingly.

"Well you heard the hag Walter, step on up." Kuja said.

"WHAT! Oh hell no, I had to sacrifice my dignity to do this last time!" Walter said.

"Walter you don't have any dignity" James said.

"James...shut up." Walter said.

"So what is it going to be?" Dahlia asked getting impatient.

"Oh he will do it." Kuja said.

"Excellent!" She said dragging Walter off.

"High five Kuja!" James said giving Kuja a high five.

"Hey man what is all the yelling about?" Kaufmann said walking up.

"Oh it's you. We just sent Walter to get some with Dahlia." Kuja said.

"You are one sick pup." Kaufmann said.

"Yeah he is but it is awesome!" James yelled.

"Right on man." Kaufmann said.

"So where are you going?" Kuja asked.

"What is it any of your damn business." Kaufmann said.

"Geeze what are you going to a drug deal or something?" James asked.

"No man, I am going to my secret safe house where I hide the drugs, then a drug deal. Gotta have the goods first" Kaufmann said.

"Sure." James said.

"Now if you will excuse me I must use the restroom." Kaufmann said.

"Alright bye!" James said.

"Such a nice man" James said again.

"Whatever you say...idiot." Kuja said.

(BE) Back over to Harry and Zidane.

"Hey Zidane where do we go now." Harry asked.

"I'm going to this bar over here to get something to drink." Zidane said.

"Sounds good buddy." Harry said.

"Dumb Bastard." Zidane said annoyed.

They sat in the bar for a little while when Harry's radio had a weird broadcast come over it.

"And in other news, Local Hospital was attacked during a party, reports say it was a rather large man with a triangle on his head and a giant knife...only one survived and here is what he had to say." The reporter said.

"Man that shit was off the hook! My cuz just bust in there and he was just making ass blood and guts go everywhere! I went over there and went for a high five and he punched me in the face, it was AWESOME! Then he took all of the bodies and lit them on fire, Shit that party was bangin'!" said a different voice.

"This individual did not release his name to protect himself...but the slaughter was horrible." The reporter said.

"Well, sucks to be them." Harry said.

"No shit...I wonder who that witness was" Zidane said.

"Hey Zidane there is a key sitting here." Harry said.

"Let me see it" Zidane said and Harry tossed it to him.

"What does it say?" Harry asked.

"JACKPOT!" Zidane yelled as he rushed to the door.

"What did it say?" Harry asked.

"It said Kaufmann stash!" Zidane said happily.

END OF CHAPTER

Hay guys it is me again, good old Darkcomet. I am mid way through my last week of school until Christmas vacation, which is awesome!

Pyramid Head: Get to the damn question!

Right...uhh...the question this time is from Wordstrike and he wants to know.

"Since you're obviously so unpopular, I can imagine that you will spend a large amount of time in the near future playing Silent Hill Homecoming. If you could add any weapon to the game (other than your Great Knife) that would really make those damn cultists scream out in terror, What would it be?"

Pyramid Head: Well my dear Wordstrike, I don't see why I should play it since those Konami sons of bitches only put me in there three times, so I don't see why I should play that god awful game.

Darkcomet: Hey I liked that game!

Pyramid Head: Shut up this is my time! But if I could add any weapon other than my knife and my obvious side arm the tooth pick of doom a.k.a my spear I would probably add a giant club with meat cleavers sticking out of it, I call it the flesh shredder nine thousand! It is kind of James's plank but only made for a more gargantuan person...such as myself. Tell them Valtiel.

Valtiel: Yeah yeah check it, this Flesh Shredder fixes all of your human needs. It slices, it dices, It scars. But more importantly if you stick it up their punk asses you gonna' show them who the bitch is now...Yeah son who da' bitch now huh...represent

Pyramid Head: ...Right and if you order now we will throw in this instructional DVD titled "Killing With Pyramid Head" That way you can get the most out of you Flesh Shredder, it will also show you the many uses for you Flesh shredder. So call 1-800 shredtheinfidels, that number again is 1-800 shredtheinfidels. Call now.

Darkcomet: Did you just turn question time into an infomercial for your own sick product?

Pyramid Head: Yep...oh yeah the Flesh Shredder is only $9.99. Yes all of that for only $9.99.

Darkcomet: ...put me down for one of those.

Anyway I have something special in mind for the next chapter. So be prepared for that. Also I have started a new story called Megaman Stupid Network which is also a parody. So if you like Megaman Battle network and want to see it made fun of head on over there. But if your taste is more Resident evilish then there is a story that is awesome over there called A day in the Life of Albert Wesker. It is written by Wordstrike and it is a very brilliant story so check it out sometime you will not be disappointed. So until next time keep sending in reviews and ask the cast some questions they will be eager to answer...or advertise. So please review.


	11. A Very Sunderland Christmas

Chapter 11

A Very Sunderland Christmas

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story...Nothing I say

It was Christmas Eve and the Sunderland Christmas party was at hand many guests had come to exchange gifts, because there was a secret Santa system where everyone had to buy a gift for one other person, but someone was not invited.

"Lousy bastards, they think they can have a party without Dahlia...well I will show them, HAHAHAHAHA!" Dahlia cackled evilly.

But inside the party was off of the chain, they had a turn table and a D.J. naturally it was Valtiel. There was even a humongous present that nobody knew who it was for, but everyone was anxious to see if it was theirs.

"Yeah, yeah it is Christmas up in this bitch! Alright it is time for the presents!" Valtiel yelled over his microphone.

"Cybil, I was your secret Santa!" Harry exclaimed.

"Damn it I was hoping to get something good." Cybil moaned.

"Here...enjoy." Harry handed her a present.

"I wonder what you got me...OH MY GOD!" Cybil said in glee.

"I thought you would like it." Harry said.

"Perfume thank you thank....wait...this is mens perfume...you dumbass!" Cybil said.

"Whoa! Back up plan." Harry said handing her another present. Cybil opened it.

"A years subscription to playboy...you are an idiot." Cybil said walking off. Over on the other side of the room Kuja and James were talking.

"Here James" Kuja said handing James a very well wrapped present.

"Oh goody, what could it be." James said like a child while Kuja just smiled.

"Weird Al's Greatest hits...I love you" James said.

"Well...I just thought, you know James loves his work but has no CD so I just bought it." Kuja said.

"Thank you for the best gift ever." James said almost in tears.

"Your welcome...now to find who got me something." Kuja said walking off.

"Hey Henri!" James said walking up to Henri.

"Yeah" Henri said

"I got your present!" James said handing Henri a poorly wrapped present.

"Hmm I wonder what this could be..." Henri said unwrapping the present

"Well..." James said.

"...A box set of Darkwing Duck?" Henri said.

"Yeah!" James said happily.

"Thank you James" Henri said very unexcited.

"Your welcome" James said walking off.

"I will cherish you forever." Henri said to his box set.

Kuja had been all over the room looking for who was supposed to give him his present..

"Walter do you know who got me my gift?" Kuja asked.

"Hmm...Oh Yeah that would be me...here." Walter tossed him a present.

"Oh Boy Oh Boy" Kuja said very excited.

"Final Fantasy seven? What is this?" Kuja asked

"It is a video game Kuja...a good one it was a bitch to track down...besides it supposed to be the greatest game in history...but I'm a Castlevania fan myself." Walter said walking off.

"Hmm...it looks O.K. but I have this funny feeling I would have like Final Fantasy nine more." Kuja said walking off.

"Hey uncle Walter!" Heather yelled.

"Well if it isn't my little 3 year old niece...what can I do for you" Walter said cheerfully.

"I got your present." Heather handed Walter a small box.

"Hmm what could this be...ah a vial of small pox...you know me so well" Walter said happily.

"I knew you would like it." Heather said running off.

"Now I can take revenge on those idiots a the cable company...shut off my cable. I should have some left over for that biological weapon I have building." Walter said with a chuckle.

So the night went on like this merry and happy until.

Click

"What is happening?" A frightened female yelled.

"Don't worry I will protect you!" Harry yelled

CRASH

"OW" Harry yelled in pain.

"Smooth" Kuja said. When the lights came back on everything was gone.

"Where is Christmas?" James said.

"Maybe it is in this note" Zidane said.

"Why is my zipper down?" Walter asked.

"Mine too?" Harry was confused as well.

"It says 'You bastard didn't invite me to the party so I have stolen Christmas...and I am burning the presents as we speak. Dahlia' That bitch...Kaufmann just gave me those drug...I mean flour" Zidane said winking a Kaufmann.

"Daddy" Heather cried jumping to her dad crying.

"It will be O.K." James said.

"It isn't a Sunderland Christmas without some stupid bull shit happening...honestly I don't know why I always come." Henri said.

"At least you were remembered" Pyramid Head moaned.

"You may not have been invited." Henri said.

"Screw you I'm not leaving." Pyramid Head said.

"Daddy who is the guy with the pee pee for a head?" Heather asked.

"Damn it...I see her just about every month...still I am forgotten."

"Well here is a present I was planning on giving it that Kaufmann guy but...I think he is happy with all of his drugs." Henri said.

"Oh goody!" Pyramid Head exclaimed.

"Silent Hill Homecoming...Shit" Pyramid Head said unhappily.

"So what are we going to do?" Kuja asked.

"I guess we leave." Zidane said as they all sadly made their way to the door, even James.

"You live here idiot." Walter said still upset over the loss of his small pox.

"Right" James said as he turned and walked the other way.

CLICK

"Take the girl not me!" James yelled.

"Classy James" Henri said.

When the lights came back on the presents were back in place and everything was back to normal. And the celebration continued for hours.

"How did this happen?" James asked.

"It is a Christmas Miracle daddy" Heather said.

"Pfft...The bull shit you feed this child" Valtiel said as he spun the music again.

"I'm right" Heather said pouting.

"Sure whatever." James said.

"Alright everyone this is song is called Violent Pornography" Valtiel said.

"WHOOOOO!" Everyone went.

"Uncle Walter what is pornography?" Heather asked.

"A man's best friend." Walter said as he lifted Heather up and put her on his shoulders and carried her around.

Meanwhile on the outside.

"Don't ever let me catch you stealing Christmas ever again." Bass said to a knocked out Dahlia. He was wearing a santa hat.

"Merry Christmas. AND A BLOODY NEW YEAR MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bass Screamed as he flew away.

END OF CHAPTER.

Yes I realize this is a Christmas chapter...I also realize it is January. Merry late Christmas!

Anyway regular chapter will begin...well next chapter. I will probably do some things with Megaman Stupid Network first, so if your haven't read it yet you should do so. Also I may update Shenlong's Tale too...I mean it has been a year. But I will have stuff coming more frequently (hopefully) for I have two days off a week now. So please review. So until next time.


	12. When Therapy Goes Wrong

Chapter 12

When Therapy goes wrong

Disclaimer: I still have no ownership of this story in any way.

"So you are telling me this is Kaufmann's stuff?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure." Zidane said as he sorted through the various bags laying around.

"How do you know?" Harry asked.

"Well it says Kaufmann's don't touch…or snort." Zidane said.

"And it says that for a reason!" boomed a voice from across the room.

"MOMMA!" Harry yelled as he jumped in the air.

"I'm sorry we didn't know it was yours" Zidane said.

"Oh I see…it's alright man" Kaufmann said in his weird druggie voice.

"So we can have some?" Harry asked.

"Of course not you stupid bastard, how else am I going to make money in this empty town?" Kaufmann said in his strict sounding voice.

"Oh man I wanted some." Zidane said bummed.

"Well…you could by some of that stuff man, help support the cause." Kaufmann said.

"Oh…how much?" Harry asked.

"Fifty for one pack." Kaufmann said.

"That's bullshit!" Zidane yelled.

"Hey man I don't make the rules I only sell the drugs." Kaufmann said.

"What do you mean you don't make the rules?" Zidane inquired.

"Well…er…you see…BURN IN HELL!" Kaufmann yelled as he pulled out a lighter, lit it and threw it a nearby can of conveniently placed gas canisters, he then proceeded to run out of the room screaming like maniac.

"Holy shit we need to leave!" Zidane said.

"Why?" Harry asked. He then pushed Harry out the door just as the place exploded.

"Dude!" Harry said.

"I know…what do you think that weirdo meant?" Zidane asked.

"What? I was happy that I found a quarter!" Harry said.

"Of course you are." Zidane said as they walked away.

(BE) over to Brookhaven Hospital

"I showed those stupid nurse bitches who was boss didn't I Valtiel?" Pyramid gloated over his recent slaughter of all of the nurses at Alchimilla hospital.

"Damn straight cuz…but did you have to punch me in the face?" Valtiel asked

"No…I just got really caught up in the moment." Pyramid Head said while doing a little happy dance by swinging his arms around.

"By the way, I heard from those nurse bitches that that dud that took James' daughter were walkin' through the hospital earlier, they even said they were seen at the antique mall…which one said just before you split her in two and threw her from the roof." Valtiel said.

"Really…Valtiel, I have an idea." Pyramid Head said as a bloody light bulb popped up over his head.

"Word? Let's hear it then." Valtiel said.

"We go and find James' daughter and then they will have to pay attention to us…plus we can kill who ever gets in our way." Pyramid Head said excited.

"I don't know man." Valtiel said.

"Maybe even that Dahlia bitch" Pyramid Head said.

"Aight I'm game." Valtiel said as he walked towards the door.

"hmm now which one? Ah!" Pyramid Head exclaimed as he sorted through he various means of torture such as his giant butter knife of doom, a rocket launcher, a rubber chicken with spikes, and an Ashley Simpson CD, when he finally decided on his rather large toothpick of death A.K.A his spear.

"Alright let's go find that bi…I mean little girl." Pyramid Head said as he and Valtiel began to search the streets of Silent Hill.

(BE) Back to the random streets of Silent Hill.

"So do we even know where we are looking?" Walter asked.

"Nope…we checked at the antique store and all that happened is everything turned…well ugly." Kuja said.

"Well, at least things couldn't get any worse." James said…with horrible timing.

"Hey there, if it isn't my favorite group of sexy men." said Dahlia who had randomly stumbled upon them.

"Damn it not her again." Walter said.

"Is that how you greet someone who you made sweet love to?" Dahlia asked.

"Alright first off…that was hate sex, secondly it certainly wasn't sweet" Walter said nearly gagging on the last part.

"Walter you poor, poor bastard" Kuja said.

"Well…sorry I can't stay and chat I'm a little busy." Dahila said as she walked away.

"Well thank god she's gone" Walter said. She suddenly snuck up on him and licked his ear.

" Just wait until next time…sex muffin" She said as she slunk away.

"I…don't…want…to…live" Walter said.

"Damn…I think you need therapy." Kuja said.

"No…not after what happened last time." James said.

(BE) Flashback.

There were a circle of people sitting in a room with a short balding man in the middle. On a dry erase board there was a weird thing that says "We are all friends here…free doughnuts and orange juice." As James shifted uncomfortably in his chair and Walter sighed heavily.

"Why am I here?" James asked.

"Because your wife made you come." Walter said annoyed.

"Why are you here then?" James asked.

"She made me come too…she scares me a little when she's mad." Walter thought of it and shuddered a little.

"Welcome everyone to group therapy…due to recent cost cuts we must combine all therapy sessions. But doesn't it give a warm environment?" The bald man in the center said, as everyone else just rolled their eyes.

"Well why don't we start with you with the long silver hair." The short man spoke again.

The man had long silver hair and wore very regal like attire, he was also very pale.

"Damn it…hi my name is Alucard and I have father issues." Alucard spoke.

"HI ALUCARD!" Everyone in the room said except Walter who had a strong urge to flip this guy the finger.

"And what are your father issues?" The short man said.

"Well…it all started millennia ago when my father was in the vampire crusades and he married a woman but she was killed…long story short he married another mortal and one thing led to another and I was born…with this damn cursed blood. So decades passed and eventually I beat my father to death and sent him back to hell where he belonged." Alucard spoke finished and sat down.

"So…you killed your father?" the man said.

"Yeah but the bastard comes back every hundred or so years." Alucard said.

"right…now how about you?" He pointed at a younger person with unruly hair, a pair of jeans, a gray shirt and bags under his eyes. He was sitting in his chair all hunched up and when he stood to speak he was still somewhat hunched over.

"Hi my name is L….BiLl and I am paranoid." BiLl said.

"HI BILL!" Everyone except Walter said…he also wanted to flip this guy the bird.

"Why does your name have a capital L in it?" the bald man asked.

"Are you insinuating that I am the great detective L here undercover to unmask the identity of an international criminal? That would be extremely unlikely and there would only be a small one percent chance of it being true…also why are there not cakes or ice cream here…cheap bastards." BiLl said sitting down in a ball again.

"Sure…how about you?" The bald man spoke again. This time it was another fat bald guy. But this man had and full mustache and a pair of goggles on his head.

"My name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik and I have a serious egg fetish." He said as he expected people to welcome him…but the room was dead silent.

"I HATE YOU ALL!" He yelled as he ran out of the room crying.

"Creepy…how about you there." The man spoke once again. This time it was a man dressed in blue overalls with a green shirt and a green hat with the letter L on it.

"My name is-a Luigi and I have-a anxiety and extreme fear." He spoke then sat down and began to shake.

"HI LUIGI!" Everyone said except Walter who was eyeing the person sitting next to Luigi.

"OH GOD DON'T-A HIT ME!" Luigi panicked and curled up into a ball in his chair.

"mmhmm…and you ma'am." This time it was an attractive short brown haired woman wearing a blue police uniform with the words S.T.A.R.S printed on the front.

"Hi my name is Jill valentine and I'm a kelpto." She said.

"HI JILL!" Walter yelled excitedly causing everyone to turn and look at him.

"Really…you steal things impulsively?" The man asked.

"well…I am the master of unlocking so If figured I could see how long I could go with it." She said as she sat down. When suddenly without warning James stood up.

"My name is James and I am a sex addict." James said proudly and sat down.

"Really…you are a sex addict?" The man asked.

"Yeah…I also have dreams where these weird things that look like hanging squares rape me over and over again." James said smiling as Walter chuckled a little.

"Why do you laugh every time I talk about rape?" James asked.

"Past experience…Hi my name is Walter and I get angry very easy."

"Right well…that seems to be everybody so why don't we…" The man started to say.

"I also like to have a good time" Walter said winking at Jill.

"I have a boyfriend, his name is Chris and he will kick your ass…even though he is as dumb as a post." She said.

"Oh you just got burned." Alucard spoke up.

"Shut up Mr. prissy!" Walter yelled.

"Ha he told you" BiLl said

"Shut up asshole." Alucard said sounding upset.

"Yeah that's it cry to daddy." BiLl said.

"YOU BASTARD!" Alucard yelled as he tackled BiLl out of his chair.

"Help he is trying to bite my neck!" BiLl yelled.

"OH MY GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE!" Luigi yelled.

"Get off him you ugly pale bitch!" Walter yelled as he tackled Alucard and BiLl rose to his feet. Alucard eventually got Walter off of him and stood up where he was greeted with a roundhouse kick from BiLl which knocked him unconscious.

"You bastard I was going to knock him out!" Walter yelled as he punched BiLl in the face and knocked him out he was then promptly hit in the face with a plank of wood and knock unconscious as well.

"YEAH I WIN THEARPY!" James cheered as Jill walked around and pulled wallets out of the unconscious peopled pockets.

(BE) to the present.

"So that is why we can never go to therapy again." James said.

"Dude…you guys are really messed up.

(BE) back to Harry.

"We have been walking for hours." Harry said.

"No we haven't" Zidane said.

"Yeah huh…I'm going to go rest in that boat house."

"Fine you big baby." Zidane said as he followed Harry to the boat house. He walked in and was greeted with a scream.

"AHHHH!" Screamed a naked Cybil.

"Whoa!" Harry said happily.

"GET THE HELL OUT!" She yelled as she wrapped herself in a towel.

"I knew you wanted me but damn I figured it could wait until we left the town but I'm game." Harry said.

"I WAS TAKING A SHOWER!" She said.

"Um...excuse me but why would you take a shower in a place like this, especially when you know there is a horny idiot running around?" Zidane asked.

"I like to smell nice." She said.

"Good enough…Harry let's wait outside while she gets dressed." Zidane said.

"But I want to watch it will be like a reverse strip show." Harry said.

"Get your ass out of the boat!" Cybil yelled. A few moments later she was dressed and Zidane and Harry came back in.

"So…have you found the girl yet?" Cybil asked.

"No…but we could just leave her here and go back to my place." Harry said.

"But I thought you loved your daughter." Cybil said.

"My daughter?...Oh shit…I mean of course I love her and I am going to rescue her form this nightmarish hellhole." Harry said.

"Right." Cybil rolled her eyes.

"I could tell you where she is." Dahlia said walking up.

"Not you again you wrinkly old bitch." Harry said.

"She is at the lighthouse." Dahlia said.

"As I said you are a wonderful lady come on Zidane let's go."

"Harry be careful" Cybil said.

"Aww you do love me." Harry said.

"Actually…I hope you fall." Cybil said.

"I love you too." Harry said as he left the boat.

END OF CHAPTER

Whew that took a long time to update. I got the Jill character form Tralfmadoria's A day in the Life of Albert Wesker…which you should totally check out when you are done here. Also I meant to spell BiLl's name that way…it was a joke for those who caught it. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review.


	13. It's Go Time!

Chapter 13

It's go Time

Disclaimer: To this day I own nothing in Silent Hill in any way.

"Harry" Zidane said.

"What is it my travel companion?" Harry asked.

"Well…I just can't help but thinking that this is a trap by Dahlia." Zidane said as they climbed the stairs of the light house

"Why in the world would she be trying to trap us?" Harry asked.

"Possibly to get us out of the way of inadvertently messing up a ritual, while at the same time busting their underground drug ring." Zidane said.

"You have a good imagination Zidane" Harry said as they made it to the top of the lighthouse.

"So…what do we do now?" Harry asked.

"Now you die" Said a voice out of nowhere.

"Where did that come from?" Zidane asked.

"Look up monkey boy" It said. They did so and low and behold it was a giant moth.

"Whoa…what is that thing?" Harry said.

"Don't you recognize me?" It asked.

"My God…it's the lizard from the school basement!" Harry yelled.

"Yes and now…wait…no you dumb-ass!" It yelled.

"Well then who are you?" Harry asked.

"The larva you fought before…I mean I waited outside the hospital for hours and you guys never showed up!" It yelled.

"We were supposed to go back through the hospital?" Harry asked.

"He's bluffing that is about as likely as us having to go through a sewer." Zidane said.

"Well…it doesn't matter now; I am going to kill you!" It yelled as it swooped at them.

"I'm going to light this mother up!" Harry said as he whipped out his shotgun and plastered the moth full of lead.

"No! I wanted vengeance!" it screamed as it fell from the light house.

"And that is how it is done" Harry said tucking his shotgun away.

"That was awesome Harry!" Zidane said.

"Yes Harry truly incredible" Dahlia said arriving at the top of the lighthouse.

"Dahlia? Why are you here?" Zidane asked.

"I wanted to see Harry die with my own eyes…but as you can see that didn't happen yet." Dahlia said.

"But I thought you wanted to bang him?" Zidane said confused.

"Shh Zidane don't remind her." Harry whispered.

"It is true I wouldn't mind to have me some Harry love, but the truth is he is becoming a threat and must be executed, this bumbling idiot discovered our underground drug ring and must be killed so he won't mess with our ritual." Dahlia said.

"Called it" Zidane said.

"Lucky guess" Harry said.

"Yes…we would have been hot together…but it is a shame you had to meddle." Dahlia said. At that point Zidane turned around.

"HARRY GET DOWN!" Zidane screamed as he tackled Harry.

"Damn…I missed." Big Bird said having fired a shot at Harry.

"Shit…I forgot about this yellow bastard." Harry said.

"Yes…you killed my brother and now you have to die." Big Bird said.

"I suggest we leave now…we will finish him later. If you want vengeance find us at the amusement park… we will see you there." Dahlia said as she and Big Bird left.

"What do they mean by vengeance Zidane?" Harry asked looking in the direction the others left in.

"Harry." Zidane said weakly.

"What is it man thanks for helping me back there." Harry said.

"Harry" Zidane said weakly again.

"What is it Zidane…I already asked you twice, don't make me do it again." Harry said.

"The bastard shot me you dumb-ass" Zidane said.

"Bullshit" Harry said looking down at Zidane who was bleeding very badly.

"I'm not going to make it…that bitch tricked us." Zidane said.

"Hold on Zidane…I'll get you to Lisa, she can help." Harry picked up Zidane and ran down from the light house.

(BE) over across town.

"Cuz, why the hell did we come to this stupid amusement park" Valtiel asked.

"Well…I have a hunch that Harry will be coming through here." Pyramid Head said as they hid behind one of the horses on the merry go round…which they somehow were able to hide behind.

"What gave you that idea?" Valtiel asked.

"Just call it using your pyramid" He said

"I still think you're a dumb shit." Valtiel said.

"Shh someone is coming" Pyramid Head said.

"Is everything ready?" Dahlia asked.

"Yeah…I think Harry will be surprised by this trap." Big Bird said smirking.

"Cuz…what the hell are they talking about?" Valtiel asked.

"What do I look like a mind reader? Just shut up and listen." Pyramid Head said.

"Did you hear something?" Dahlia said.

"Meow." Pyramid Head made a noise

"Just a cat." Dahlia said

"Phew that was close." Pyramid Head said.

"Now I heard something" Big Bird said.

"Woof" Pyramid Head made another noise.

"Oh it is just a stupid dog" Dahlia said.

"But still…oh well, the girl is in place over there…now we just have to wait right?" Big Bird asked.

"Yes, it should be soon." Dahlia said.

"What are they waiting for?" Pyramid Head said out loud.

"OK that time it was a person." Big Bird said pulling out his gun from his pocket…yes Big Bird has pockets.

"Emu noises" Valtiel said.

"You dumb-ass" Pyramid Head said.

"Calm down you stupid bird it's just a emu." Dahlia said.

"Your right" Big Bird said putting his gun up.

"Holy shit that actually worked." Pyramid head whispered.

(BE) over at Alchemilla hospital.

Harry sat impatiently in a chair while Lisa worked on Zidane.

"Damn where is Kaufmann when we need him." Harry said.

"Probably getting high off his ass." Lisa said.

"Still." Harry said.

"I've done all I can…Harry he isn't going to make it. I think you should spend his last moments with him." Lisa said.

"Yeah, you're right." Harry said as he walked to Zidane.

"Well…this sucks." Zidane said.

"Yeah…he Zidane I don't know how to say this but…" Harry started to say.

"I swear if you get all mushy on I will get up out of this bed and bitch slap you" Zidane said.

"but…" Harry said.

"Listen…you have to promise me you will kill that big yellow bastard and that wrinkly old bitch…for me." Zidane said.

"I promise, but Zidane…" Harry tried to say.

"No…I will not let you make this all dramatic." Zidane said.

"Fine I was just going to say you're the coolest person I've ever met but fine, be a douche." Harry said.

"I know I am…well…later." Zidane said as his eyes closed.

"Zidane….Zidane?" Harry said. But Zidane remained motionless.

"Zidane wake up you little bastard I know you're just trying to trick me!" Harry yelled, and still nothing happened.

"Hey Zidane Kaufmann is here he brought all these drugs with him you had better wake up or else we will do them all." Harry said as his eyes watered up.

"He's dead Harry…I'm so sorry." Lisa said.

"I can't believe he is gone." Harry cried as he hugged Lisa.

"I know…just let it out." Lisa said.

"I am going to get that evil old bitch" Harry said.

"Old bitch? Are you talking about Dahlia?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah" Harry said.

"Well, I hear she is hangs around at the amusement park a lot." Lisa said.

"Really from who?" Harry said as he broke the hug.

"I heard it from Kaufmann once." Lisa said.

"Thanks Lisa…now I just have one more question." Harry said.

"What is it Harry?" Lisa asked.

"Would you give me some pity sex?" Harry asked.

"You are a pig you know that." Lisa said walking off.

"Oh come on…my friend just died…please!" Harry yelled.

(BE) Over to another part of Silent Hill.

"Well we have searched everywhere…I'm sure they are gone by now." Kuja said.

"Yeah…well there is one place left." Walter said.

"Where?" James asked.

"The amusement park." Walter said.

"No way" Kuja said.

"Yeah, why would a little girl go to an amusement park?" James asked.

"No James that is where those cultist wackos set up their headquarters." Kuja said.

"Come on…we can take those idiots." Walter said.

"Fine but we have to be careful." Kuja said as they headed towards the amusement park.

(BE) at the amusement park.

"Right where the hell is that bitch" Harry said walking up to the merry go round. When he got there he saw Cybil in a wheelchair.

"Oh hey there." Harry said not even paying attention; he had one goal in mind at this point. But Cybil stood up.

"Harry" She said in a trance like state.

"What is it Cybil I'm busy." Harry said looking around for Dahlia.

"Harry…make love to me." Cybil said.

"Cybil I don't have time to….wait…so look who finally came around and wants some good old Harry love." Harry said.

"I want you Harry." Cybil said.

"They resist at first but they always come around." Harry said.

"Kiss me you sexy, sexy man!" Cybil said as she grabbed Harry. As they were making out she reached into her pocket and pulled out her gun.

"Whoa shit!" Harry said as he pushed Cybil away.

"What! How did you know she was going to shoot you?" Dahlia yelled as she came out of hiding.

"Shoot me…I thought she was just into kinky stuff and I was going to make a safety word." Harry said.

"This guy is unbelievable!" Big Bird said as he also came out of hiding.

"Shoot him!" Dahlia yelled at Cybil which she did.

"Cybil it's me…don't you want me?" Harry asked. For some reason after this the shots came even faster.

"Do you think we should help him?" Pyramid Head asked.

"Hellz yeah!" Valtiel yelled as he jumped from his hiding place as Pyramid Head followed.

"You bastards!" Dahlia yelled as her and Big Bird ran.

"What are we going to do? I don't want to hit her." Harry said.

"I do…she is fine" Valtiel said.

"He means getting physical." Pyramid Head said.

"I wouldn't mind getting physical with her." Valtiel said.

"You dumbass he meant punching her." Pyramid Head.

"Oh…no I wouldn't want to do that either." Valtiel said.

"So what are we going to do?" Harry said.

END OF CHAPTER

So…that was a long chapter huh? I hope you guys liked it. There are only a few chapters left. It is going to be an eventful few chapters ahead, it will be finished before July…I hope. The offer to ask the characters questions is still open, so if you have a burning question you want the characters or even me to answer just ask. SO please review and I will see you guys next time.


	14. Carousel Chaos

Chapter 14

Carousel Chaos

Disclaimer: Despite me writing this I have no ownership of this story in any way

"So how are we going to help her without hurting her?" Harry asked as they hid behind the horses on the Merry Go Round.

"Shit don't look at me…I don't know." Valtiel said.

"Well…perhaps she has one of those weird pulsating things on the back of her neck that let's someone control them. I heard some company made them…umbread, umdead… something like that." Pyramid Head said.

"Umbrella?" Valtiel said.

"Yeah that's the one." Pyramid head said.

"Well that's all well and good, but how do we get it off?" Harry asked.

"Well, I invested in one of these awhile back, it said do not shoot or do not pull while device is active…but the question is…where is the device? It is usually on the chest." Pyramid Head said.

"YES!" Harry yelled just about jumping out of his hiding place and getting shot.

"I said normally, it doesn't seem to be there though." Pyramid Head said grabbing Harry and holding him down.

"Damn…I was hoping to help with that one." Valtiel said. Suddenly the shooting stopped.

"What's happening?" Harry asked. They all looked up over their hiding place as they saw a trio of people walk onto the merry go round.

"Hey…why does that chick have a gun?" One of them said.

"Walter?" Cybil said in a trance like state.

"Oh shit." Walter said.

"Busted Walter!" James yelled.

"Uhhh…Cybil…how's it…going." Walter said as Cybil raised her gun to his face and pulled the trigger.

"Shit Walter!" Valtiel yelled as he leaped from his hiding place.

"Damn she killed him!" Harry yelled.

"Don't be so sure…Walter is a strange one." Pyramid Head said.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked. It was at that point Walter stood back up.

"Ow! I'll admit I deserved that…but damn!" Walter said holding his head.

"How…the…hell?" Harry said freaked out.

"Oh…he's already dead, suicide by soup spoon." Pyramid Head said.

"Well…should we call them over here to make a plan to remove the device?" Harry said just as another shot rang out.

"Damn it woman stop shooting me!" Walter yelled. She shot him again.

"That's it!" Walter yelled as he punched Cybil in the face knocking her out.

"No…I think they can handle it." Pyramid Head said as him and Harry left their hiding place.

"Damn, Walter I haven't seen you this mad since the hot dog machine incident." James said.

"I thought we agreed to never bring that up again" Kuja said not wanting to remember.

"Hold on Cybil!" Harry yelled as he turned Cybil over and saw the device and pulled it off.

"There…that should do it." Harry said.

"James isn't this the guy who kidnapped your daughter?" Walter asked still holding his head.

"Yeah I think so…hey buddy where is my daughter?" James asked, Harry stiffened at the question.

"That's a funny story…well she.." Harry tried to run away but was grabbed by Pyramid Head.

"Damn you and your enormous size!" Harry yelled.

"Now talk where is she." Kuja said as Valtiel danced randomly in the background.

"I don't know she ran off the first chance she got." Harry said scared.

"Yep sounds like her." James said.

"I'm sorry please don't have the big guy here kill me!" Harry pleaded.

"OK." James said happily.

"James…buddy…this guy kidnapped your daughter…and you are just going to forgive him?" Kuja asked.

"Well he said he was sorry." James asked.

"Yeah…but…never mid" Kuja said he has learned James doesn't listen to reason…he probably doesn't even know what reason is.

"What the hell happened here!?" Dahlia said emerging from the shows.

"Oh damn not again!" Walter yelled hiding behind James.

"I can't believe you discovered…Pyramid!" Dahlia said

"Dahlia!" Pyramid Head said.

"I thought you were to busy raping everything that moves to do anything productive." Dahlia said smirking.

"Dahlia you're still alive…how old are you now four, five hundred." Pyramid Head said.

"Talk all your crap now…I hold the cards at this point." Dahlia said as she pointed to Big Bird who was hold Heather at gunpoint.

"Daddy…Uncle Harry!" She yelled.

"Dude…you're my brother?" James said looking at Harry.

"mmm…what's going on…Walter is that you?" Cybil said getting back to her feet.

"Oh…hi Cybil" Walter said nervously.

"Why didn't you ever call me?" Cybil said.

"Why did you send Wally to look for me." Walter said.

"Hey no fair I asked first" She said barely conscious.

"Cybil what the hell you slept with him?" Harry said feeling hurt.

"Yeah she had my kid…hell even James knew that." Walter said.

"Yeah I watched the birth and the conception." James said proudly.

"Too much information" Kuja said.

"How would I know I don't know you guys." Harry said.

"Well…maybe you should research more." Walter said.

"Hey…screw you, I tried my best." Harry said.

"Yeah but you failed at that and kidnapping you must be dumber than James." Walter yelled.

"Hey!" James yelled.

"Sorry James…almost as dumb as James." Walter said.

"Thanks…wait." James said.

"As amusing as it is watching you two girls argue I have an agenda…I believe I gave you the Flauros." Dahlia said.

"The what now?" Harry asked.

"The weird triangle thing." Dahlia sighed.

"Oh yeah that…what about it." Harry said.

"umm Dahlia you do know the cop is still alive right?" Big Bird said.

"What the hell…we hid all that liquid. Jesus first you skip our sewer trap twice dodged our Moth servant and then pull the parasite off of her neck?" Dahlia said upset.

"Yeah well…I'm Harry mason and consistencies can kiss my ass!" He yelled as he took a shot at Dahlia but missed horribly.

"One more attempt like that and I will kill the girl." Dahlia said.

"OK" Harry said dropping his gun.

"Now…give me the Flau…the triangle thing." Dahlia said.

"Here." Harry said tossing it to her.

"Careful Harry her bones are so old they are like paper you may break them by tossing something too hard." Pyramid Head chuckled.

"Laugh it up Dick for a head…let's see how you are laughing when this happens!" Dahlia yelled as lighting shot from the Flauros and the world around our heroes turned dark.

(BE) to a dark room.

Kaufmann sat in a chair and looked as though he were addressing a few people.

"So…are we clear on what must be done…you stop those idiots no matter the cost." Kaufmann said sternly.

"Yes master." A voice said and eight shadows scattered around him in various directions.

"Do you think they can do it man?" Kaufmann asked.

"Of course they can…I paid two million for their services…they had better get it done." Kaufmann answered himself.

"If they don't do we get to use that one thing…dude tell me we do!" The drugged out version of Kaufmann asked.

"Of course." He once again answered him self.

"Awesome!" The druggie exclaimed.

"I know…MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kaufmann laughed evilly.

END OF CHAPTER

What has happened to our Heroes? What are those eight shadows Kaufmann paid top dollar for? What is the one thing he was talking about? Well there are only 2 chapters left and the next one is going to be a colossal chapter, if all goes as planned it should be up within a month…it is going to be a huge chapter. So you won't want to miss it. So until them please review telling me things you would like to see happen. Who knows I may just use them. So until next time, please review.


	15. Nowhere

Chapter 15

Nowhere

Disclaimer: I have no ownership of this story.

"No mommy…I just want to stay home and eat waffles all day." Harry said in his sleep.

"How long is he going to stay asleep?" Kuja asked annoyed, they had been waiting for him to wake up. They were sitting in a weird storeroom kind of place.

"Hey don't be so mean…if I had my way I would stay home and eat waffles too." James said thinking about waffles.

"Yeah…waffles." Harry said as he woke up.

"Well it's about damn time!" Kuja said.

"What happened?" Harry asked a little drowsy.

"Well when you gave Dahlia the flau…the triangle thing, she did some magic figgly wiggly and transported us here…as to where here is I have no idea." Walter said.

"Walter it is called the flauros." Kuja said.

"I know that but it just makes things easier to dumb it down for certain people." Walter said.

"Yeah Kuja you can't be as smart as me." James said.

"Right, whatever" Kuja said rolling his eyes.

"We are in a pocket dimension known as nowhere where the collective subconscious of those absorbed is used to make the rooms within." Pyramid Head explained.

"Really?" Walter said not sure of what he was talking about.

"It is also used as a place to summon up an evil creature known as Samuel, the supposed god of this town." Pyramid Head continued.

"I don't think you said his name right." Kuja said.

"I think we may still have time to stop the ritual the old wrinkly bitch is trying to pull off, we just have to find the summoning area." Pyramid Head finished explaining.

"Wow Pyramid Head you sure know an awful lot, why haven't I ever noticed?" James asked.

"Maybe because nobody ever listens to me and just goes on being ignorant." Pyramid Head said annoyed.

"Maybe, but do you really know what you're talking about?" Walter asked.

"Oh yeah my cuz knows all of his freaky cult shit." Valtiel said.

"Yeah…but if we are going to find it I say we should split up into three groups." Kuja said.

"Right well I call Cybil!" Walter yelled as he grabbed Cybil and ran off.

"Cockblocker!" Harry yelled.

"So between the rest of us there should be three…which reminds me where is my brother?" Kuja asked.

"Well you see that big yellow bird killed him, it was shortly before I saw you guys again." Harry said.

"WHAT!" Kuja yelled.

"Whoa down Kuja!" James restrained Kuja.

"That big yellow bastard is going to pay when I see him again." Kuja said finally getting a hold of himself.

"I feel you on that one" Harry said.

"Right so me and James will go together and you and Valtiel…is that OK with you Harry?" Kuja asked.

"Yeah fine by me." Harry said leaving.

"Ummm…aren't you forgetting someone?" Pyramid Head asked.

"No…I don't think so." Kuja said.

"You bastard you forgot me!" Pyramid Head yelled.

"Oh right sorry about that." Kuja said embarrassed, he normally never skips the little details…to bad for him Pyramid Head wasn't little anything.

"Don't worry buddy the more the merrier right?" James said.

"Don't patronize me James." Pyramid Head sighed.

Meanwhile in the summoning room.

"Is everything almost ready?" a voice inside of a dark sphere in the middle of the room asked.

"Yes it is almost over…using this little girl as a vessel you may enter this realm and begin your eternal rule." Dahlia said.

"As happy as I am about that…I find it a little odd that I will be ruling as a seven year old girl." The voice said.

"It will be fine my lord." Dahlia said.

"Yeah you should be grateful we even decided to help you at all." Kaufmann said walking in.

"Just as nice as always Kaufmann" The voice said.

"Well I hired some help and they are awaiting our intruders as we speak." Kaufmann said.

"Thanks…where is your hippie voice?" Dahlia asked.

"I just used that to distract and confuse our enemies into thinking there was good in me…but it has become an inconvenience." Kaufmann said.

"That and your other personality is sleeping right now right?" The voice said.

"That also helps." Kaufmann said smirking.

Back to Harry.

"So…what are we looking for again?" Harry asked.

"The room used to summon the demon god." Harry asked.

"Samuel?" Harry asked.

"That's the one." Valtiel said as they opened a door and went inside a room that had a bunch of pictures of animals on the wall.

"So…what now?" Harry asked.

"Ah so I am the first to have action Splendid!" Said a voice from across the room.

"Who are you?" Harry asked. In front of him was a weird looking robot with a small metal blade on his head.

"I am…METAL MAN!" Yelled Metal Man as he did a dramatic pose.

"Why is that important?" Harry asked.

"Me and my eight partners are on loan for a friend of our master Wily, so we were told to eliminate all intruders." Metal Man said.

"Bitch you must be crazy…thinks he can take us." Valtiel said.

"Yeah let's do it Valtiel." Harry said. Nothing happened.

"Valtiel?" Harry turned around and Valtiel had ran back out the door.

"Oh you little chicken shit!" Harry said.

"Now DIE!" Metal Man yelled as he chucked a buzz saw bade at Harry.

"Whoa boy!" Harry screamed and rolled out of the way as the blade stuck into the wall behind him.

"Not in a million years could a puny human beat a high ranking robot like me!" Metal Man gloated when suddenly the buzz saw came flying back and stuck Metal Man in the shoulder.

"No my own weapon…my one weakness!" Metal Man yelled as he exploded.

"Suck on that asshole!" Harry yelled.

Back over to where James is.

"So that crazed old bitch is trying to summon a deranged demon into this word?" Kuja asked.

"Yep, I don't know how long it is going to take so we need to hurry." Pyramid Head said.

"I'm afraid I can't let you pass." A voice from the hallway.

"Did everyone else hear that?" James asked.

"Yeah but who is it?" Kuja asked as a red and white robot with drills for hands walked up.

"My name is Crash Man and I am going to make sure everything goes as planned here." Crash Man said.

"Oh really, you going to drill us to death…don't make me l…"Pyramid Head started to say as a drill like object flew passed them and caused a large explosion when hitting the wall.

"Not exactly." Crash Man said.

"I'll do it." James said.

"Yeah…wait what." Kuja said.

"Relax I got this." James said.

"One at a time huh, very honorable of you…stupid but honorable." Crash Man said.

"I don't even know what that word means" James said as he pulled out his plank.

"It means you are going to die!" Crash Man said as he fired off another bomb. James stood there for a few moments and the swung his plank. The bomb instead of doing the logical thing and blowing up went flying back toward Crash Man.

"Oh you son of a…" Crash Man started to say as he exploded due to his own bomb.

"Say cheese in Hell bitch." James said.

"Well it was all cool until that one liner James…then you killed it." Kuja said.

Meanwhile in another portion of the…nowhere.

"It seems as though the ritual has begun, and I am running out of time." Bass said as he floated through the hallway.

"I must Hurry" He said as he began to move faster.

Meanwhile

"I still don't know where we are going." Harry said as he and Valtiel walked down a hallway

"Don't look at me man, old PH back there knows all of the details." Valtiel said as he and Harry walked into a room.

"Well it seems I have company." Said and effeminate voice.

"Great another robot…you'd better not run you pussy." Harry said.

"I didn't run, I just had to go to the bathroom." Valtiel said.

"Whatever." Harry said.

"You have stumbled upon the dwelling of…Flash Man!" Flash Man said, he was a blue robot with a yellow dome.

"Please tell me that your power isn't what I think it is" Harry said disgusted.

"FLASH!" Flash Man yelled as a white light flashed.

"Umm…was that it?" Harry asked.

"That shit was weak!" Valtiel said.

"Come on let's get…I can't move." Harry said just now realizing what had happened.

"Yes…now I am going to destroy you…die." Flash Man said as he shot a bunch of little energy bursts…but the all missed and began to bounce all around the room.

"Oh shit!" Flash Man yelled as they bounced right back into him thus causing him to explode.

"If any body asks I killed him." Harry said.

"Like any one would believe that anyway." Valtiel said.

Meanwhile in another room.

"So…Cybil what brought you to my little neck of the woods?" Walter asked.

"Well I am a cop and I came here to bust a drug rung…it isn't ran by you right?" Cybil said sitting on a bed.

"If it were to be run by me nobody would know about it." Walter said.

"I see…why did you leave all of those years ago?" Cybil asked.

"Well…why don't we talk about that later? We can get back to where we left off." Walter said in a sly manner as Cybil blushed.

"Not so fast…you must contend with me!" Said a robot in a green scuba suit.

"I am Bubble Man!" It yelled in an obnoxious voice.

"Dude…how long have you been watching us?" Walter said a little creeped out.

"The entire time!" Bubble Man yelled.

"And did you say your name was Bubble Man?" Walter asked.

"Yes and now behold my power!" Bubble Man yelled as he shot out…a bubble. It floated over and popped on Walter, it had no effect at all.

"Yeah did you like that? There is more where that came from!" Bubble man yelled as he shot another bubble. Walter then walked over to Bubble Man popping the bubble along the way and punched Bubble man in the face thus knocking him out and then he exploded.

"God I'm horny" Cybil thought.

"Now…where were we?" Walter said as he walked back to Cybil.

Back to where Harry is.

"Maybe we should be on the lookout for more of those weird robots." Harry said.

"Yeah those bitches keep stepping up they gonna' drive me crazy." Valtiel said.

"Right what you said." Harry said as they walked into a different room.

"HARRY!" Lisa said as she came and hugged Harry.

"Hey Lisa…how in the hell did you get here?" Harry asked.

"I don't know now I'm so scared." She said.

"I can tell…you have your body pressed up against me." Harry said.

"Harry I have something to tell you." Lisa said.

"OHHHH YEAH!" Valtiel said.

"Shut the hell up Valtiel!" Harry yelled.

"Sorry." He said.

"I need you Harry." Lisa said.

"Thank you god!" Harry thought.

"I'm no different from the monsters you've seen in this town." Lisa said.

"Does that mean you are like a monster in bed or something?" Harry asked.

"No Harry…it means I am actually a monster." Lisa said.

"AHHH!" Harry shouted as he pushed her off of him.

"Harry." Lisa said with tear filled eyes as blood began to run down her face.

"What in the hell are you?" Harry said.

"Harry…make love to me." Lisa said.

"That would have been tempting a few second ago." Harry said inching away.

"Please!" She yelled as Harry hid in a closet.

"No…you are very creepy." Harry yelled.

"Harry." She said silently. Valtiel just stared at her.

"Hi. He said.

"Hi." She said holding her head down.

In a different place.

"Man this place is big…I wonder if it is as big as Ashley's dad's house?" James said.

"Probably." Kuja said.

"Hello my new victims." A voice said.

"Oh great another one." Pyramid Head said.

"Don't you dare compare me to the other robots…I am Air Man bitches and I'm fixing to kick your ass." Air Man said. He was a blue robot with no torso it looked like he was built around the giant fan in the middle of him.

"Yeah sure." Pyramid Head said.

"You dare make light of me…I shall destroy you." Air Man said as he began to blow wind towards his three opponents.

"Barrier!" Kuja yelled as a barrier engulfed him and James.

"You forgot me again you blue haired bastard!" Pyramid Head yelled.

"Why aren't you flying back towards the wall at breakneck speeds?" Air Man said shocked.

"Oh so that's your power eh? Well the blow this!" Pyramid Head yelled as he stabbed his spear into the fan.

"NOOO!" Airman yelled as he exploded.

"Bitch." Pyramid Head said as he put his spear away.

Meanwhile.

"Dude why didn't you want to hit that?" Valtiel asked.

"Probably because she was bleeding from all over." Harry said.

"She just vanished after you said the part about her being uglier than the chick from The Shining" Valtiel said.

"Yeah I think I took it too far on that one." Harry said.

"Hello fools." Said yet another robot.

"Damn it not another one!" Harry yelled.

"Yes my name is Heat Man and I am going to burn you to death." Said Heat Man who looked like an oversized Zippo lighter.

"He get's to the point." Harry said.

"No shit." Valtiel said.

"You have caused enough problems." He said as he shot fire at them.

"RUN!" Harry said as he and Valtiel ran away.

"Fools." Heat Man said as he turned into fire and started to chase them, they then ran inside of a room.

"What are we going to do G?" Valtiel asked.

"I don't know." Harry said as he looked around the room when he noticed a sword sticking out of some sort of cabinet.

"There grab that!" Harry yelled Valtiel grabbed it and went to the other side of the room to wait.

"Here I am!" Heat Man yelled as he came in the room when suddenly a monster leaped out of the cabinet and ate him alive, the monster then exploded because of Heat Man's death.

"Holy Shit!" Harry yelled.

"Man that shit was off the hook!" Valtiel yelled.

Meanwhile in the Summoning room.

"Damn…what the hell?" Bass said as he was on the ground defeated.

"You underestimated the demon king." Dahlia said.

"No, I knew he was strong but I didn't expect this." Bass said.

"That's what underestimating is" Dahlia said.

"Fine…but one day his power will be mine." Bass said as he disappeared.

"I wonder who that guy was." Dahlia said.

"If you say anything sexual I am going to kill you." The voice said.

Meanwhile where Walter was.

"So Walter, how is Wally?" Cybil asked.

"Well He's…"

"Stop right there!" said a booming voice from across the room, the room they have always been in.

"Jesus not again." Walter said.

"I am Wood Man and I am here to defeat you in the worst way possible." Wood Man said. he looked like a big tree stump.

"That is similar to what the last guy who came in here said." Walter sighed.

"Now feel my power!" Wood man said as he shot a leaf at Walter, it hit him and then fell to the ground.

"You guys are really terrible at your job." Walter said as he stabbed Wood Man in the face with a spoon.

"So where were we?" Walter said.

Back to James and company.

"Hopefully we don't run to any problems in this room." James said as they went into a room that looked like a store of sorts.

"Don't say that or…"

"Fear me I am the mightiest robot…my name is Quick Man"

"Jinx us." Kuja said.

"Now prepare…"  
"To fight?" Kuja asked.

"Heavens no we are going to have a dance competition, and the loser dies." Quick Man said, he was a red robot with a yellow boomerang thing on his head.

"Fine, I'll face you." James said.

"James wait…"

"Fine….DDR!" Quick Man yelled as a DDR machine fell from the roof.

"Fine and the song is…White and Nerdy!" James said yelled.

"What no that song is totally gay!" Quick Man said.

"You…how dare you insult my song." James said.

"How about the most difficult song there is?" Quick Man said.

"Fine." James agreed and they began to dance with Quick Man's feet going so fast you couldn't keep your eyes on them, but much to his shock James' feet were going even faster.

"No!" Quick Man yelled in defeat as he exploded.

"That's why I'm white and nerdy bitch." James said.

"Let's go." Kuja said. They walked around for awhile and eventually came to a door where they met Harry and Valtiel.

"Hey guys!" Harry said.

"Did you guys find anything?" Kuja asked.

"A couple of robots, not much else…oh and a giant monster that killed one of the robots but then exploded." Harry said.

"Cool!" James said.

"I know that shit was tight!" Valtiel said.

"I wonder where Walter is." Pyramid Head said as he and the other walked into the room.

"Shit!" Walter screamed as he leaped out of bed and started to put his clothes on.

"What is it dear." Cybil said getting out of the bed completely naked.

"Wait a second…what the hell!?" Harry yelled.

"Oh hi Harry…wait a second." Cybil said.

"Yeah baby shake yo' money maka'!" Valtiel yelled.

"Pig." Cybil said putting her clothes on.

"I…I…I…sigh." Harry said.

"There are more fish in the sea." James said.

"Remember James's he did kidnap your daughter." Kuja said.

"That is all in the past Kuja." James said.

"Dumbass." Kuja said.

"So I take it you guys found this is the closest you could get to the summoning and not get caught so you decided to…well you know?" Pyramid Head asked.

"Yeah...exactly." Walter said.

"Yeah heat of the moment or some bullshit like that." Cybil said.

"Let's just get this over with." Harry said storming out of the room.

"Harry wait." Cybil said following him out of the room.

"I wonder what pissed him off." Walter said.

"Why don't you go back and screw that ugly bastard again." Harry said.

"These walls are really thin ass hole." Walter said from the other room.

"Harry he told me why you came here…you kidnapped that weirdo's daughter." Cybil said.

"She thinks you're weird Pyramid Head." James said.

"She's talking about you." Pyramid Head said.

"I think it's hot." Cybil said.

"Really?" Harry said.

"WHAT!" Walter yelled from the room.

"After this we can go find a hotel room somewhere." Cybil said.

"Hell yeah let's get this shit done then!" Harry said running down the hallway and down a set of stairs.

"What the hell is up with that?" Walter said walking in the room.

"Let's see how you like sleeping with someone and then they ditch you." Cybil said as she followed Harry.

"Tough luck" Pyramid Head said as he followed.

"You got served bitch!" Valtiel said.

"I think you deserved that." Kuja said.

"Do you need a hug?" James asked.

"No James…no I don't" Walter said walking off.

"That was rude." James said following all of the others. When they reached the bottom the saw Dahlia and Big Bird in front of Heather.

"Hi Sweetie!" James yelled.

"Alright Dahlia hand over the girl." Harry said.

"What to the guy who abducted her." Dahlia said.

"No to her father I got something more important now." Harry said as he slapped Cybil on the butt.

"Really…well let me take that away from you as well!" Big Bird shot a gun at Cybil.

"I don't think so." Kuja said as he caught the bullet and was glaring at Big Bird.

"Oh look the girly man is going to do something about it." Big Bird said.

"I may not have liked my brother, but I'll be damned if I let you get away with his murder." Kuja said as he began to glow. He transformed and was now covered in red monkey hair and had a tail.

"I got your back." Harry said as they ran at Big Bird.

"Oh no you don't!" Dahlia said but she was grabbed and then body slammed.

"If you want them you have to go through me you wrinkly old bitch." Pyramid Head said.

"Fine." She said as she swung a punch but it was blocked but she blocked the counter that came after. They began to fight to a stalemate where neither could land a hit. Meanwhile Harry and Kuja were in a fire fight with Big Bird, but Kuja was the only one using actual fire.

"I'm bored." James said.

"Shut up!" Walter yelled he was enjoyed this.

"AHHH!" Big Bird yelled he had been shot in the shoulder by Kuja.

"That was for my brother." Kuja said turning back to normal.

"Harry…please help me…I'll help you get the girl and money." Big Bird pleaded.

"How about this, I give the girl back to her dad…and you can go fuck yourself." Harry said as he shot Big Bird in the head.

"NOOO!" Dahlia yelled as Pyramid Head tossed her towards the black void.

"God it is time for you to awaken." Dahlia said.

"Yes Dahlia…yes it is." The voice said.

"Everybody get ready this is it!" Harry yelled.

END OF CHAPTER

Well that was a long one wasn't it; I bet you didn't expect the cast of Megaman 2 to show up huh? Well the final chapter should be up soon and it won't be as long as this one. But I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and please review.


	16. The Goat Man Cometh

Chapter 16

The Goat Man Cometh

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story, not even the flying goat.

"God, you can now finally arise!" Dahlia cried in joy.

"Yes…now bring me the girl." The voice from the void said.

"Daddy!" Heather screamed as Dahlia drug her to the hole.

"Should we do something?" Walter asked.

"Moron." Pyramid Head said as he threw his spear towards Dahlia…but it was too late, the void had already swallowed Heather up.

"Heather what have I told you about playing around a demon inhabited vortex?" James asked. Suddenly a bright light engulfed the entire area and when everyone could see again they saw what looked to be a woman in a white robe floating there; she had long black hair and looked like an angel.

"You know for a supposed evil demon god she is kind of hot." Harry said.

"Make no mistake that is Samuel." Pyramid Head said.

"I still don't think you have the name right." Kuja said.

"I have returned to the realm of the living…now if you all bow I will spare you." The floating girl said.

"Don't bother." Said a voice from behind everyone.

"Oh it just can't be" Kuja thought to himself.

"This floating bitch up here is nothing but a disguise." Kaufmann said walking up to everyone.

"Kaufmann what are you doing!?" Dahlia said surprised.

"My reason our my own but your part in this is over, the demon up there is going to work for me whether he, she…it? Wants to or not!" Kaufmann said.

"I always knew that bastard was evil!" Walter yelled.

"Kaufmann what could you possibly do to a god!" Dahlia yelled.

"None of your business hag! Now will you listen to me or not?" Kaufmann turned his attention to the goddess like figure before him.

"No." It responded.

"Very well then you leave me with no choice then." Kaufmann said pulling out a vile of red liquid.

"What in the hell is that stuff?" Harry asked.

"Oh…well I don't know the medical term but it will certainly work on this false god over here." Kaufmann said as he threw the vile at the goddess. It splashed all over her and she began to twitch out of control.

"You…you…YOU BASTARD!" she yelled before she hunched over in pain.

"I'm glad it worked." Kaufmann said to himself.

"What do you mean glad it worked?" Cybil asked.

"Oh well…it had the potential to make it even stronger but it looks like it didn't do…."

"RAAAAAAWR!" They heard.

"Maybe I should make sure I know what I'm talking about before going into an explanation." Kauffman said.

"KAUFFMAAAAAAAN!" they heard a loud yell. It was coming from the goddess, coming out of her back looked to be a human sized goat with wings.

"I must be trippin' G." Valtiel said.

"No this is happening." Kuja said.

"This is some weird shit." Valtiel said.

"Agreed." Kuja agreed.

"KAUFFMAAAAAAAAN!" It yelled again. Now it was fully in the air floating above them menacingly. It held out its' hand and lightning came out, Kauffman did the best thing to do in this in this situation, he grabbed Dahlia.

"What are you…AHHHHH!" Dahlia screamed as she was hit by the lightning.

"It seems you did have some uses." Kauffman said.

"Umm…what now?" Walter said.

"I don't actually don't know." Kuja said.

"That's right fear the demon king Samuel." The flying goat said.

"I told you." Pyramid Head said.

"Does it really matter right now?" Kuja said annoyed.

"That's right bitches you can't do nothing to this!" The goat taunted.

BANG

"WHO DID THAT!?" The goat yelled as he looked around.

"What happened?" James asked.

"Someone tried to shoot him." Kuja pointed to the goats' hands and in between his fingers was a bullet he had caught.

"I was hoping to take the cheap way and shoot you when you weren't looking…but you are crafty." Harry said with a smirk.

"What has come over him?" Pyramid Head asked.

"I don't know but it is hot." Cybil said.

"Whore." Walter said.

"At least he is big where it counts." Cybil said.

"…bitch." Walter said almost crying.

"What do you think you can do to me? I'm a freaking demon!" Samuel laughed.

"Well…I'm Harry Mason and I really don't give a shit!" Harry said as he shot his pistol again.

"To Rich!" Samuel said as he hit Harry with lightning. Harry fell to the ground and didn't move.

"HARRY!" Cybil cried.

"Oh well…win some lose some I guess." Walter said with a smirk.

"That ain't cool dog." Valtiel said.

"You're on her side? She freaking used me for sex!" Walter said.

"So." Valtiel said.

"HA HA HA! Seems as though moron down here is just a loser who can't even save himself." Samuel mocked.

"Don't be so sure." Said a familiar voice.

"Who said that?" Samuel said looking around. When a dagger came flying at his face.

"You! I though you died!" Samuel yelled in anger.

"I did but this is where everything comes together…including the dead." Zidane said twirling another dagger in his hand.

"Still…what do you think you could do to me?" Samuel said with a smirk.

"You don't catch on do you…my brother isn't the only one in the family who can transform." Zidane said as he began to grow hair all over and turned a bright red color.

"What is this!?" Samuel yelled in horror.

"This is my power…GRAND LETAHL!" Zidane yelled as a bright red light engulfed the area and when it cleared Samuel was on the ground…his wings gone.

"HA! I still live." Samuel mocked.

"How about looking behind you." Zidane said. Samuel turned around and Harry stood there with his big hammer.

"But…but I killed you." Samuel said confused.

"You should know something about the likes of James and Harry you ugly flying piece of shit." Walter yelled from the sidelines.

"What is that?" Samuel asked.

"They are both too stupid to fell pain." Kuja said.

"Yeah…wait." James said.

"Now it is time to die…bitch!" Harry said as he began to hit Samuel with the hammer, until Samuel was still on the ground.

"Good work Harry." Zidane said.

"Zidane…YOU'RE ALIVE!" Harry cried as he hugged Zidane.

"No…stop…get off…NOW!" Zidane yelled as he hit Harry in the head.

"I thought that big yellow bastard killed you." Harry said.

"Oh he did, but all of the town's dead souls are here so I figured the least I could do is help. By the way isn't that the girl unconscious over there?" Zidane asked as he pointed to Heather laying on the ground.

"HEATHER!" James cried as he ran to his daughter.

"Zidane…what are you going to do now?" Kuja asked walking up.

"Well…I guess stay here. You guys had better hurry this place is going to collapse, its primary power source, the demon, is gone. The exit should be appearing any second." Zidane said. Just as he finished a white portal appeared near James.

"Thanks Zidane." Harry said.

"Don't get all mushy just leave…I would but I need to stay." Zidane said as everyone left. He smiled and looked around and noticed Kaufmann crawling to the exit.

"Where do you thing you're going?" Zidane asked.

"I'm leaving." Kaufmann said climbing to his feet.

"I think not." Lisa said walking up.

"Lisa…b-b-but I thought I killed you." Kaufmann said.

"Yeah well life's a bitch and so am I" Lisa said as she threw Kauffman into a hole.

"So do you think they made it?" Lisa asked.

"I guess…so let me ask you a question." Zidane said.

"Sure go ahead shoot." Lisa said.

"Are you as horny as I am?" Zidane asked.

"You have no idea." Lisa said grabbing Zidane and leading him off somewhere.

A FEW DAYS LATER

"I'm telling you honey it was a flying goat!" James said trying to get Ashley to believe him.

"Honey I thought you said you would quit the drugs when we got married." Ashley said.

"Well I did didn't I…except for that one time." James said.

"What was with that twenty page paper nailed to her crib?" Ashley asked.

"That was the kidnapper explaining everything." James said.

"James I know you are an idiot but this is a stretch even for you. But if you are telling the truth what happened to the demon's power, not to mention his body?" Ashley said.

"I don't know I didn't stop to look?" James said. It was at that moment they heard a loud boom from Heathers room. They walked in and were greeted with a giant hole in the wall.

"I have a pretty good idea though." James said smiling as Ashley stared in disbelief.

Meanwhile not to far away from the Sunderland house.

"So what is going to happen to me now?" Harry asked.

"Hmmm…I don't know." Cybil said with a smile.

"Well I did abduct the girl." Harry said.

"But you also rescued her and then brought her back." Cybil said.

"So…I'm not going to be punished?" Harry asked.

"Oh you are going to be punished…just in my own way." She said with a smirk.

"You mean like with sex?" Harry asked.

"Yes." She chuckled.

"Now that is the punishment I like!" Harry yelled as they drove off in Harry's hot pink jeep.

"Well it looks like another adventure is over." Walter said.

"Yeah…but it feels as though this is just beginning." Kuja said.

"What do you mean?" Walter asked.

"I think we will deal with demon again." Kuja said.

"Oh well we will deal with that when it happens…hey want to go crash a wedding?" Walter asked.

"For once yes I do." Kuja said as they left.

"So what are we going to do now?" Ashley asked as he and James walked outside.

"Well we wait until she is older, surely nothing bad could come out of that right?" James said with a thumbs up.

END OF STORY

Well it is done…it took the longest to finish, but it is done. Thank you to all who have reviewed and sent me private messages, I am glad you enjoyed it. I am proud to have finished another. I also have an announcement; I have one more story to add into this series, I promise it will be better than this one. I have to start back to college on Monday so it may be awhile before it gets made but it will come out eventually. I have one other series going on if you hadn't heard or read it, called Megaman Stupid Network it is gaining some popularity, so check it out. Also while you are checking out stories check out Roommates are hell by The Man Who Has No Life it is an awesome story. Also check out A Day in the Life of Albert Wesker by Tralfmadoria it is truly funny. One more thing before I go I should mention I also have X-box Live so if you want to add me feel free, the gamertag is Darkcomet222…original isn't it. Well I figured I should give out a title to the new story coming soon.

The final story in the this sucks series…I mean the very last one.

Silent Hill 5 Homecomings Suck!

Coming soon to a near you.


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